Quote:The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.
Building mountains can be a monumental task. In the middle of the Pyramids is a little country -- that's where they opened Pandorra's box.
Quote:In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
It was a world's first record and they did act as if drunk from hard cider.
Quote:Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
This is, sadly, true... only being allowed to see his peoples' New World.
Quote:David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
Sometimes a sad truth.
Quote:He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Their descendents still do... and the name of the Philistines is resounded in Palestinians.
Quote:Solomon, one of David's sons had 300 wives and 700 porcupines
With 300 wives, there was undoubtedly a lot of needling.
Quote:The Greeks invented three kinds of columns-corinthian, ironic, and dork-and built the Apocolypse.
One might expect a dork column to cause an apocolypse, quite ironically, even if Corinthian.
Quote:A myth is a female moth.
A dead, sometimes female, moth.
Quote:One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable.
The Trojans quite well agreed with this claim.
Quote:Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship Ulysses endured on his journey.
The Oddessy of Oddesues (Ulyses) was quite odd.
Quote:Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but another man of that name.
The blind leading the blind?
Quote:Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him.
If they'd only done that with some of the more recent advisors.
Quote:Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
This is all too common.
Quote:After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
He wasn't doing too well in the moments before it, either.
Quote:Greeks: ran races, jumped,
hurled the biscuits,
and the the java.
the reward to the victor was a coral wreath.
much like today's sporting events:
followed by partying, vomiting,
java to counteract the hangover;
all in the reward of being artificially stoned.
Quote:Eventually, the Romans conquered the Geeks.
Since the Fall of Rome, the Geeks have risen again with a lot of computation in every seasoning.
Quote:History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
You can't forge an empire standing in one spot.
Quote:Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.
...But he arose, having a lot of Gaul.
Quote:Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Like many of other emperors, he liked to fiddle with his subjects.
Quote:Today Rome is full of fallen arches.
The barbarians caught them flat-footed, that's why there's not a Roamin Empire, anymore.
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