DF,
Welcome to SimV! Hopefully someone here can help get you pointed in the right direction so you can be enjoying the type of flying simulation experience youa re looking for.
In regards to your question, I recommend that you check out SimV's forum for Online Interactive Flying (I have a sneaking suspicion that this thread may be moved there soon). In specific, you may want to check out:
The information regarding SimV's official multiplayer server:
http://www.simviation.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1148901173This helpful guide to setting up multiplayer:
http://www.simviation.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1089583712These will probably be of most benefit to you if you are using FS9 (FS2004), which I am guessing that you are because you posted in the FS2004 forum to start. However, you may want to be aware that many of the videos on YouTube featuring FS multiplay are using FSX. It is possible to use FSX on the SimV server with some additional software. However, FSX multiplay has several built-in features that are not available for FS9 (unless you get various software add-ons, including some pay-ware add-ons). So, it would be helpful to know the following:
1) Which videos did you see?
2) What aspects of multiplay do you want to enjoy?
3) Are you in fact using FS9?
Anyway, best of luck. If I can continue to help, I will gladly do so. But, I suspect there may be some even more experienced folks who will come along any minute to give you even better advice to help you on your way. Whatever ever the case, good luck!
All the best,
~Darrin