Waltzing Matilda" is a popular Australian folk song, widely regarded by Australians as being the best thing since sliced beer. Although it is not the official national anthem, its themes of robbery, suicide and the persecution of homeless people have struck a chord with many Australian citizens.

The lyrics were written in 1895 by poet and drunkard A.B. "Banjo" Paterson as part of his community service. A thriving industry of ripping off tourists has been set up in many Australian towns, all claiming to be "the real one" where the poem is set.

Writing of the lyrics

The song was written in 1895 by Banjo Paterson, and the music was written by Chuck NorrisElle McPherson. Paterson wrote the piece while working off his debt to society after a particularly good night on the town. While attempting to complete the song from his cell, Paterson was repeatedly subjected to performances of The Mikado until he finally cracked, stole lyrics from it, stuck a meaningless chorus at the end and called it done.

It was immediately hailed as a masterwork, and Paterson became rich and famous, his only quirk being that he would hide under a desk and whimper upon hearing the names Gilbert or Sullivan.

Adapting the poem to music
The music bit was stolen from a Scotsman, so nobody particularly cared.

A translation of the lyrics from the original drongo has been included.

    Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong

       A happy tramp dressed in women's clothes and shared his drugs with Bill

    Under the shade of a coolibah tree

       Under a tree. If you couldn't figure this one out, you need better help than I can offer

    And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his Billy boiled

       The tramp lulled Billy into a false sense of security, then killed him and stuck him in a pot

    "Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me?"

       Buggered if I know what it means. Sorry


    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda

       I mean, it sounds like complete gibberish

    Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me

       Okay, fine, repeating it isn't really helping here, mate

    And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his Billy boiled

       We've done this bit, haven't we? If you start talking about bloody Matilda again..

    "Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me?"

       That's it, I'm out of here


    Down came a jumbuck to drink at the water-hole

       Go away!

    Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee

       Fine. A jumbuck is a sheep, and... oh my god

    And he sang as he stuffed that jumbuck in his tuckerbag

       No way. There might be children reading this, for god's sake!

    "You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me."

       ...Forget it, you're on your own

    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda...

       (By this point, the singer is invariably drunker than a fish living in beer, and repeats the last line until unconscious.)

Variations

Several variations of the song exist to irritate people who think that they know the "official" version of the song. The variant known by most people today differs slightly from Banjo Paterson's original:

    Three little maids from school are we
    Pert as a school-girl well can be
    Filled to the brim with girlish glee
    Three little maids from school

    Everything is a source of fun
    Nobody's safe, for we care for none
    Life is a joke that's just begun
    Three little maids from school

    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
    Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda...

Paterson had to be forcibly restrained from completing a version that began with the lyrics "There was a young man from Nantucket"...