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Diagnosis (Read 428 times)
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:16pm
myshelf
Offline
Colonel
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 295
Diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only costs you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using cocaine.
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better
the reasonable man adjusts to his souroundings, while the unreasonable man insists on adjusting his souroundings to him.&&&&therefore all progress is due to the unreasonable man.
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Reply #1 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:17pm
myshelf
Offline
Colonel
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 295
been posted before
the reasonable man adjusts to his souroundings, while the unreasonable man insists on adjusting his souroundings to him.&&&&therefore all progress is due to the unreasonable man.
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Reply #2 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:33pm
Jimbo
Offline
Colonel
Jimbo's Flight Simulation
Tours
South Yorkshire, UK
Gender:
Posts: 3052
Quote:
been posted before
Thats a first, saying your own BPB. And why did you post it, if you knew already may i ask?
..Jimbo's Tours, MORE info in the MULTIPLAYER SECTION
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Reply #3 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:34pm
Woodlouse2002
Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England
Gender:
Posts: 12574
New one on me.
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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Reply #4 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:35pm
Souichiro
Ex Member
Lol Excellent laugh!!!
NRIB!!!! (Never Read It Before)!!!! AHA! Counter moves!!!
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Reply #5 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:54pm
Ecko
Offline
Colonel
-
Denmark
Gender:
Posts: 4012
LOL.. That's a nice one!
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Reply #6 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 6:55pm
myshelf
Offline
Colonel
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 295
Quote:
Thats a first, saying your own BPB. And why did you post it, if you knew already may i ask?
i don't know if it's been posted before or not, but i have the feeling some people post the comment no matter if it done or not.
so i just thought i beat them to it
the reasonable man adjusts to his souroundings, while the unreasonable man insists on adjusting his souroundings to him.&&&&therefore all progress is due to the unreasonable man.
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Reply #7 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 8:37pm
beefhole
Offline
Colonel
common' yigs!
Philadelphia
Gender:
Posts: 4466
Heard it once before, but still fresh
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Reply #8 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 8:59pm
Jimbo
Offline
Colonel
Jimbo's Flight Simulation
Tours
South Yorkshire, UK
Gender:
Posts: 3052
Quote:
Heard it once before, but still fresh
Thats more like it Beefhole, instead of using BPB!!, you have used adequate and concise text. Well done. A*...
...Erm...Mr Connor, get off my pc, and get back to lesson.....
"Fresh" Love the word! LOL
..Jimbo's Tours, MORE info in the MULTIPLAYER SECTION
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Reply #9 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 9:10pm
beefhole
Offline
Colonel
common' yigs!
Philadelphia
Gender:
Posts: 4466
Quote:
Thats more like it Beefhole, instead of using BPB!!, you have used adequate and concise text. Well done. A*...
Now that would be just fantastic if I heard that from my English teacher
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Reply #10 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 9:10pm
Corsair Freak
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Colonel
Tiskilwa, Illinois, U.S.A.
Gender:
Posts: 1537
LMFAO!!! NRIB! But wait... uh, how would he get urine samples from his teenage daughter?
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Reply #11 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 9:41pm
myshelf
Offline
Colonel
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 295
Quote:
LMFAO!!! NRIB! But wait... uh, how would he get urine samples from his teenage daughter?
where does it say teenaged?
the reasonable man adjusts to his souroundings, while the unreasonable man insists on adjusting his souroundings to him.&&&&therefore all progress is due to the unreasonable man.
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Reply #12 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 10:05pm
beefhole
Offline
Colonel
common' yigs!
Philadelphia
Gender:
Posts: 4466
Quote:
where does it say teenaged?
Meh.
We all hear what we obviously want to
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Reply #13 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 11:29pm
BFMF
Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest
Gender:
Posts: 19820
Already been posted
COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World
My Reality Check Bounced
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Reply #14 -
Oct 20
th
, 2005 at 11:30pm
Corsair Freak
Offline
Colonel
Tiskilwa, Illinois, U.S.A.
Gender:
Posts: 1537
how many 12 and below aged girls do cocaine?
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