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15 vibrators(Someone is going to get pwnd) (Read 630 times)
Sep 25th, 2005 at 2:52pm

EirePlane   Offline
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London, UK

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Just found this on another forum, worth a quick read.
I juwst cant figure out WHY

http://www.absforums.com/?showtopic=5467&st=0
 
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Reply #1 - Sep 25th, 2005 at 4:04pm

Ecko   Offline
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Denmark

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Can't you post it? The site requires reg?
 

...
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Reply #2 - Sep 25th, 2005 at 5:39pm

EirePlane   Offline
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London, UK

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Quote:
[hortman]
I bought 15 vibrators for no particular reason, and the only way I could get them was from a PO box that my mom checks once every few days or so. I can't check it every day because it's a little ways away from my house. My friend doesn't want to do it because he's a little pussy. What should I do?

*It's gonna say right on the side of the box 'Vibrators (15).. yeah i'm screwed.


[Alaric88]
Wait for your mom to get them, but if you do that you risk being short one so your kinda screwed


[Killer7]
Um... cancell it? You did at lease use a fake name right?


[hortman]
cancelling isn't an option


[smoothsilkmusic]
But why in the world did you buy fifteen vibrators?
"For no particular reason" my ass.

Unless (1) the box is labeled "ADULT XXX TOYS INSIDE-- FRAGILE" or "TOP OF THE LINE VIBRATORS INSIDE-- DO NOT TOUCH" (something like that) and (2) your mom is curious and likes to open things, then I don't see a problem. That, or she asks you what's inside the box. Then make up a good lie.

Well, visit the Post Office once in a while.


[BoredomBunny]
It's going to be like that one "Commercial You've Never Seen on Tv," where this husband is at a Post Office and the PO Man comes back with a foot-long, skinny box and says, "Yup, here's the package your wife ordered," and he sets it down roughly on the table, and the box begins to vibrate.

Golden.

Now, perhaps you have a sister . . . ?



[Adverse Entropy]
My advice: don't buy 15 f**king vibrators without giving it a quick thought first.



[gman62191]
You're gonna get owned, I can feel it.



[Tal0n]
Why? is the major question here.

If you dont intend to use 15 at a time, then dont waste your money.
Unless you think you didn't.........



[rX_Golem]
just tell your mom your teacher told you to use it on them for a good grade.



[Nuticulus]
Tell your mother that it's a shipment of electronic goods, and that it isn't what it looks like.

Why the f**k would you buy 15 vibrators? Are you having a massive lesbian orgy?

Can I come?



[el_capitan]
You know your mothers going to rape you with one of them, dont you.



[nanabana]
Hope to god your mum doesn't "confiscate" the package.

edit: oh - no! say it was an early christmas present. Someones been naughty this year



[Jetski]
The best way to prevent your parents from finding your shipment of vibrators is not to order them in the first place.

Don't order vibrators without a good reason.



[comfortably_numb]
Or at least send them to a place where your parents wont intercept them.

Wait a second, you don't have a credit card to order dildos with. How the f**k did you buy those?



[hortman]
Gift Certificates.

And there are ALOT of reasons I bought them, I just didn't feel like telling people about them.

Like.. I MIGHT have 15 arms.



[Fecal Monster]
Oh, now it makes perfect sense.

Send some of those my way



[AvidLebon]
why mail order....?

Why not go to the adult store directly...

So many probs in life could be solved by simply avoiding them or just thinking them through first O_O



[MirthlessMiser]
Say that when they say 'vibrators'; they really mean vibrating controllers for your gaming console or something.



[PurleeDef™]
I could have swore you were like 15, how the hell did you order 15 vibrators?

Are you becoming sexually active and wanted to try something new?

Your a faggot.



[iampicasso85]
Just tell her that one of your friends must have sent them as a joke.




[omg-wtf-lol-BBQ]      
Try and go over to your friend's house to do something every day until it comes, so you will be close enough to check it.


Seriously, 15? Why the hell would you even need one?!




[Catfish]
For real, you should've thought just a little before buying 15 vibrators. If I bought 15 vibrators, I think I would have a reason first.Undecided



[Pornographic Priestess]
Tell them there's a package arriving for you soon because a friend asked if they could use the po box for a shipment. If they ask which friend, tell them it's the one who's being the pussy and not picking them up in the first place.
 
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Reply #3 - Sep 25th, 2005 at 5:49pm

Corsair Freak   Offline
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Tiskilwa, Illinois, U.S.A.

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lol, is hortman a female? if so, what's her E-mail?...  Grin
 
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Reply #4 - Sep 25th, 2005 at 6:17pm

EirePlane   Offline
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London, UK

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no, hortman is a guy
not even old enough to go in the shop to buy them
 
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Reply #5 - Sep 25th, 2005 at 6:44pm

Stormtropper   Offline
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Grosse Pointe, MI

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somebody's a fag...

...and I don't mean a cigarette Roll Eyes

Somehow...I found this more disturbing than funny Tongue

My advice for him, if the box is unmarked, and his mom asks, just tell her the truth...she'll most likely throw it out as him trying to piss her off.
 

Arizona State University&&Viva la party!
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Reply #6 - Sep 26th, 2005 at 1:40am

the_autopilot   Offline
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LMAO.

He's standing on shaky ground.

The last suggestion (by the prono priestess) is probably the best excuse.
 

Link to sig:&&Click here&&(Cannot post signature here due to current forum restrications on linked images).
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Reply #7 - Sep 26th, 2005 at 4:50am

Sytse   Offline
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Virtual Red Arrows
The Netherlands

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Hmmmm... maybe he's buying them for his mom, but he wants it to be a surprise!  Grin Grin Grin
 
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Reply #8 - Sep 26th, 2005 at 9:39am

TacitBlue   Offline
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The weirdest part about all of this (for me at least) is that my dad always uses the name "catfish" when he registers for something. I wonder if its him... no I don't want to know.
 

...
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Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB
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Reply #9 - Sep 26th, 2005 at 10:07pm

Jared   Offline
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Uniontown, Ohio

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LOL! Now that is weird! Wink
 
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Reply #10 - Sep 27th, 2005 at 11:15am

Ecko   Offline
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Weird and funny, but mostly disturbing! Wink
 

...
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Reply #11 - Sep 27th, 2005 at 12:33pm

myshelf   Offline
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the reasonable man adjusts to his souroundings, while the unreasonable man insists on adjusting his souroundings to him.&&&&therefore all progress is due to the unreasonable man.
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Reply #12 - Sep 27th, 2005 at 11:36pm
Flt.Lt.Andrew   Ex Member

 
Thats classic!
Reminds me of that Warcraft one a few weeks back.


A.
 
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Reply #13 - Sep 28th, 2005 at 12:01am
Drumlineramos   Ex Member

 
15 vibrating joystick controllers. now thats smart if your mother is the average blonde...

...but man, you could have the biggest halo "orgy" party f you had 15 vibrating xbox controllers.

*dreams*'

oh wait i dont own a console.

SmileyRamos

POST 1900
 
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Reply #14 - Sep 28th, 2005 at 7:09pm

cableguy   Offline
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Denver, CO

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I think if your mom is average blond, she definately WILL BE ABLE to tell the difference between a joystick and a vibrator lol
 
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