A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.  She protested, "But we don't know anything about each  other."  He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."

So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon  to a very nice resort.

One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his  towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck  gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he  again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.  After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I  told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps.  She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of  the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the  other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even  butterfly!  After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed  back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance  swimmer?"

'No," she said, "I was a hooker in Louisiana and I worked both sides of the Mississippi River."

LMAO 

... 

lol.