The Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership has released what it believes to be the definitive list of bizarre excuses for getting caught speeding.            
These extravagant excuses include alien hypnosis, low-flying aircraft, a dying hamster and bouts of diarrhoea. Here is the top 10:
1 - I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.

2 - I was in the airport's flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.

3 - I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.

4 - There was a strong wind behind my car, which pushed me over the limit.

5 - My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital.

6 - The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.

7 - I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.

8 - A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.

9 - There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.

10 - The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.

I've used all those in Kansas. 

None work