Simviation Forum - Drive Through Cash Teller Machines

Apr 27^th, 2005 at 8:45pm

Fly2e Offline
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A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using these facilities are requested to use the procedures outlined below when gaining access to their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

>1. Drive up to cash machine.

>2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

>3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

>4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

>5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

>6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

>7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

>8. Insert card.

>9. Re-insert card the right way.

>10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

>11. Enter PIN.

>12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

>13. Enter amount of cash required.

>14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

>15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

>16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

>17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

>18. Re-check makeup.

>19. Drive forward 2 feet.

>20. Reverse back to cash machine.

>21. Retrieve card.

>22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

>23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.

>24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

>25. Redial person on cell phone.

>26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

>27. Release Parking Brake.

>28. Call husband and tell him you smell something burning and car does not have any power.

>29. Give husband what for for not tuning it up last week.

>30. Call beauty parlor and tell them you were held up at the bank and will be a little late.

Dave 8)

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Reply #1 - Apr 27^th, 2005 at 9:14pm

beefhole Offline
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Sounds bout right Grin

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Reply #2 - Apr 27^th, 2005 at 9:14pm

the_autopilot Offline
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LMAO

Been postd before though.

Link to sig:&&Click here&&(Cannot post signature here due to current forum restrications on linked images).

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Reply #3 - Apr 28^th, 2005 at 11:52am

TSC. Offline
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I was...
Torquay, Devon, England.

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LMAO - I think that is almost perfect!! Grin

Cheers,

TSC.

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Reply #4 - Apr 28^th, 2005 at 12:02pm

Jared Offline
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Uniontown, Ohio

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hehehehehehe.......

NO COMMENT.... Grin

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Reply #5 - Apr 28^th, 2005 at 12:29pm

French Connection Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!

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True

&&SS Lazio Website

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Reply #6 - Apr 28^th, 2005 at 2:11pm

Theis Offline
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Always somewhere, sometime..
Rødovre, Denmark

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LOL how true Grin

Bar by Mees

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Reply #7 - Apr 28^th, 2005 at 6:15pm

Tequila Sunrise Offline
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Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

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Quote:

>26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

>27. Release Parking Brake.

LOVE IT

Craig 8)

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

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Reply #8 - Apr 28^th, 2005 at 6:21pm

Woodlouse2002 Offline
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I like jam.
Cornwall, England

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Quote:

LOVE IT

Craig 8)

That was my favorite bit too. Grin

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

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Reply #9 - Apr 29^th, 2005 at 3:37am

Saitek Offline
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A nice one! Wink

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