Simviation Forum - Funny Newspaper Headlines

Apr 7^th, 2005 at 2:56am

ChrisM Offline
Colonel
Home Airport: YTHG, Thangool
Biloela, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 257

These are some some funny ones i found a while ago, enjoy.

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

POLICE BEGIN CAMAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANAS

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN WHEN BAKING COOKIES

CLINTON WINS ON BUDGET, BUT MORE LIES AHEAD

PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

JUNENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BE TREE

TWO SISTERS REUNTIED AFTER 18 YEARS APART AT CHECKOUT COUNTER

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

IF STRICKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLEY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

ENFIELDS COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY; HUNDREDS DEAD

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNAKES

NEW VACCINE MAY CONTAIN RABIES

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE

NEWPAPER HEADLINES WITH DOUBLE MEANINGS

MARCH PLANNED FOR NEXT AUGUST

LA VOTERS APPROVE URBAN RENEWAL BY LANDSLIDE

PATIENT AT DEATH'S DOOR-DOCTOR PULL HIM THROUGH

QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED

KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS

NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES INFECTION FROM LOVED ONES

Grin

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Reply #1 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 4:38am

Flt.Lt.Andrew Ex Member

LOL!!!

A.

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Reply #2 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 4:48am

the_autopilot Offline
Colonel

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Posts: 1359

LOL. Been posted before though

Quote:

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

Bet that guy works for the FAA too.

Link to sig:&&Click here&&(Cannot post signature here due to current forum restrications on linked images).

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Reply #3 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 9:20am

TacitBlue Offline
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Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

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Posts: 5391

"Bicyclist, two children in hospital after belt accidents"

That was in my local paper a few months ago.

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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Reply #4 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 9:29pm

beefhole Offline
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common' yigs!
Philadelphia

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Posts: 4466

Never get tired of stupid newspaper titles Cheesy

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Reply #5 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 9:39pm

Mobius Offline
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Highest Point in the Lightning
Storm
Wisconsin

Posts: 4369

/\ /\ /\ agreed. Can never get tired of those. Cheesy

l l l

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Reply #6 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 10:33pm

TacitBlue Offline
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Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

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Posts: 5391

Holy crap! as I was reading this, a news lady came on TV and said "What educators want you to know about this butt crack, tonight at 10"

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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Reply #7 - Apr 7^th, 2005 at 10:35pm

ChrisM Offline
Colonel
Home Airport: YTHG, Thangool
Biloela, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 257

Quote:

Holy crap! as I was reading this, a news lady came on TV and said "What educators want you to know about this butt crack, tonight at 10"

lol

&&Computer Specs: P4 2.8GHz, 512MB RAM, NVIDIA 6600GT 128MB Graphics Card

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Reply #8 - Apr 8^th, 2005 at 3:22am

Deputy Offline
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Hillsboro, Oregon

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Posts: 2090

No matter how many times this is posted, I still the the giggles whenever I see it.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

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Reply #9 - Apr 8^th, 2005 at 5:04am

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

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Posts: 5521

Our local news team anchorman made this ominous statement about the the stock market, "Today the stock market took a huge dump", he then proceeded to lose it as everyone cracked up. Cut to commercial.... Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Reply #10 - Apr 8^th, 2005 at 9:49am

TacitBlue Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

Gender:
Posts: 5391

I actually watched that news story that I mentioned. It turnes out that she actually said "What the schoolboard doesnt want you to know about this bus crash...", I guess thats what I get for trying to listen and read at the same time. Roll Eyes

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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