11. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, unless you update its drivers, firmware, and reboot it at least 3 times.
10. Birds of a feather post together on alt.sex.featherfriends.
9. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a +3 long sword of decapitation can't harm me because I have magic protection.
8. Where there's smoke, there's a need for water cooling.
7. A closed port catches no trojans.
6. All work and no play makes Jack get pwn3d.
5. A file on your hard drive is worth two on the web.
4. He who hesitates is outbid for autographed photos of William Shatner.
3. Don't count your downloads before the torrent is complete.
2. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can code a script to do today.
1. If a tree falls in the forest and no ones blogs about it, does it make a noise?