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Don't know if one of these has been posted before. Enjoy.
Stress Reliever # 1
Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
can there be greater than this one ?"
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of
the
night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 a.m?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
father
hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Stress Reliever # 7
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered.
"He showed up his 1932 Rolls Royce."
Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
Stress Reliever # 8
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was
still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were
getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the
following inscription on her tombstone:
"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin."
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told
these men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, out as
the Lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be
unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."
Stress Reliever # 9
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
Stress Reliever # 10
Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He is busy all the
time, works all day and every day. Then what happens?
Little Johnny: He gets stepped on.
Stress Reliever # 11
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
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