Friend: WHOA! Somebody done been to the Wal-Mart!

Jeff: No, man. This is just the stuff I got for Christmas.

Friend: You cleaned up! Whatcha get?

Chorus: Five flannel shirts...

Jeff: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells, two huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT.

Friend: Jeff, I think you got gypped. There's TWELVE days to Christmas!

Jeff: I know that. I got it covered. Look over there in the corner.

Friend: That's yours, too !?

Jeff:   Yeah...

Chorus: On the twelve days of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Jeff: Twelve-pack of Bud, eleven rasslin' tickets, "ten" of "Copenhagen",  nine years probation, eight table dancers, seven packs of "Red Man", six cans of Spam...(Whew).

Chorus: Five flannel shirts...

Jeff: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells, two huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT.

Friend: Man, them ain't normal Christmas presents.

Jeff: Naw, they're "redneck" gifts.

Friend: "Redneck" gifts?

Jeff: Yeah, you know.  Like if you bought your wife earrings that double as fishing lures. Or if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells". Perhaps if you think the "Nutcracker" is something you did off the high dive. Or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights. Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.

Friend: What's wrong with that?

Jeff: I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, but it's hard to beat...Twelve-pack of Bud, eleven rasslin' tickets, "ten" of "Copen-hagen", nine years probation, eight table dancers, seven packs of "Red Man", six cans of Spam...(Whew).

Chorus: Five flannel shirts...

Jeff: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells, two huntin' dogs and  some parts to a Mustang GT.

Friend: You know, you can't really consider it a Christmas 'less you go down to the penitentiary 'n visit to yer mama.

Jeff: You're not listening to me...Get the car key out of your ear. That's where the "nine months probation" comes in. I'm gonna do it for ya again...Now listen...Twelve-pack of Bud, eleven rasslin' tickets, "ten" of "Copenhagen", nine years probation, eight table dancers, seven packs of "Red Man", six cans of Spam...

Chorus: Five flannel shirts...

Jeff: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells, two huntin' dogs, and some parts to a Mustang GT...Are you cryin'?

Friend: (Sniff) No, it's just my allergies.

Jeff: Happy Holidays, everybody.

By: Jeff Foxworthy

Ive always wondered - Do you have rednecks in the UK?

Quote:

Not what I would call a Redneck. That seems to be an American phenomenon. I think the nearest UK eqivalent would be a country bumpkin. Mind you, they're not as silly as people think. Much like Rednecks I imagine.

PS. They played the Redneck 12 days of Christmas on the radio yesterday. It's a while since I've heard it.

the song is really good, im gonna have to look for it, i heard it once on someone's xanga.