Simviation Forum - The Parrot

Nov 12^th, 2004 at 8:29pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said,

"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

This has probably been posted before....if so...oh well.

Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #1 - Nov 12^th, 2004 at 8:51pm

Jared Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

Gender:
Posts: 12621

yeah, not bad at all.

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #2 - Nov 12^th, 2004 at 8:53pm

Deputy Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender:
Posts: 2090

Quote:

This has probably been posted before....if so...oh well.

Grin

Many times, in fact. Still a personal favorite.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #3 - Nov 12^th, 2004 at 11:07pm

Triple_7 Ex Member

LOL Been posted many times...I think twice by me Tongue

still funny though Grin

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #4 - Nov 13^th, 2004 at 4:53am

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

Quote:

Many times, in fact. Still a personal favorite.

Quote:

LOL Been posted many times...I think twice by me Tongue

still funny though Grin

Rats, Oh well, I was afraid of that, sorry....lol Embarrassed

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #5 - Nov 13^th, 2004 at 6:06am

Politically Incorrect Offline
Colonel
Personal opinion given
free of charge!
Williamsport, PA

Gender:
Posts: 3915

I had a Amazon that I got cheap and after about a week found out why Roll Eyes

This bird swore like a salior! Grin

and I thought I was bad!
It couldn't even say "hello" without adding something like
"Hello, mother------"
Although I found it rather humerous at times our relationship didn't last long.
Maybe I should have tried the freezer treatment?? Wink

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #6 - Nov 13^th, 2004 at 9:10am

Woodlouse2002 Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England

Gender:
Posts: 12574

I believe I was the first to post this joke many years ago. Still a good one though. Grin

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #7 - Nov 13^th, 2004 at 2:58pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

Quote:

I believe I was the first to post this joke many years ago. Still a good one though. Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #8 - Nov 13^th, 2004 at 4:11pm

Woodlouse2002 Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England

Gender:
Posts: 12574

Touché.

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #9 - Nov 14^th, 2004 at 5:58pm

SideWinder9 Offline
Colonel
Denver,CO

Gender:
Posts: 1753

Sim-V member since 2003!

Back to top

IP Logged

	Search the archive: