Simviation Forum - The Mars and Venus thing....

Oct 28^th, 2004 at 7:21am

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

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Reply #1 - Oct 28^th, 2004 at 12:29pm

cableguy Offline
Colonel
Denver, CO

Gender:
Posts: 365

Oldie but a goodie

BTW i am not getting any ethir, since i took my girlfriend out to an all-you-can-eat place Angry

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Reply #2 - Oct 28^th, 2004 at 3:53pm

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

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Posts: 4149

ROTFLMFAO

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

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Reply #3 - Oct 28^th, 2004 at 5:39pm

Stormtropper Offline
Colonel
Blueballed...!
Grosse Pointe, MI

Gender:
Posts: 1645

LMAO....but that was kind of mean.....you played her.......... Roll Eyes

Arizona State University&&Viva la party!

&&&&&&&&

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Reply #4 - Oct 28^th, 2004 at 9:19pm

flyboy 28 Offline
Colonel
Jacksonville, FL

Posts: 13323

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Reply #5 - Oct 28^th, 2004 at 10:43pm

Jared Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

Gender:
Posts: 12621

ROFLMAO!

NOw that's a good one!

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Reply #6 - Oct 28^th, 2004 at 10:44pm

Loafing Smurf Offline
Colonel
Push it!
Ottawa, Ontario (Canada)

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Posts: 1905

My online photo album&&http://public.fotki.com/ranger21/&&&&Discover your Smurf name today!&&http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mule/smurfgen.html&&&&;

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Reply #7 - Oct 30^th, 2004 at 7:15pm

MadMick Offline
Colonel
East Cambridgeshire Mountain
Rescue Team Member
ELY UK

Gender:
Posts: 18

My son took his girlfriend of four years out for their first meal together to the little chef where he used to work, so he got it half price and they are still together.

Oh yes, you may say that I am a git... &&but, remember, that you are one too! &&For there's nothing as good as being one true... &&unless you are also a twit! &&&&The Rig = Sinclair ZX Spectrum = 16k of ram

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Reply #8 - Oct 31^st, 2004 at 1:55am

Moach Offline
Colonel
Jet-Powered PropellerHead
São Paulo, Brazil

Gender:
Posts: 991

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that was awesome Grin

Come, one and all aboard! - The Russian Roullete in the sky!
One in each Six of my personalities knows not at all how to fly!

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Reply #9 - Oct 31^st, 2004 at 4:18pm

mostickity Offline
Colonel
Fly forever

Gender:
Posts: 248

THATS GOOD! LMAO!!! Grin

MY computer:&&Pentium 4, 3.2 ghz &&1 GIG Ram&&250 gig hard drive&&Geforce 7600 512 mb&& Im happy with it.................For now.

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Reply #10 - Nov 2^nd, 2004 at 12:38am

jordonj Offline
Colonel
Loose my license...WHAT
license?!
Michigan

Gender:
Posts: 5601

For a change, I'm grateful to be single...

My first flight in a 172 on August 20, 2004&&&&&&Doing the right thing is more important than doing the thing right. (P. Drucker) &&&&When all think alike, then no one is thinking. (Walter Lippmann)&&&&Boredom's the problem. And how do you beat Boredom? Adventure!!!&&&&Tyler: You-You'll remember my position, won't you?&&&&Rosie: Sure! Stop by for a drink sometime!&&&&Tyler: Wait! Wait! What is my position?&&&&Rosie: Ehhhh...beats the hell outta me! I just hope I can find my way back home!

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