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Abbott & Costello (Read 186 times)
Oct 20th, 2004 at 9:23pm

Romulus111VADT   Offline
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Bud Abbott and Lou Costello had a legendary radio sketch "Who's on first?"

If it were upadted to today's environment it might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about uying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer.

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look out the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write roposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes..

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1".

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

Grin


« Last Edit: Oct 21st, 2004 at 3:18pm by Romulus111VADT »  

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #1 - Oct 21st, 2004 at 2:39pm

jimclarke   Offline
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So many add-ons....so
little time.....
Arizona

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That was excellent!

Jim
 

No God? Know God!
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Reply #2 - Oct 21st, 2004 at 2:47pm

Fozzer   Offline
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An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

Posts: 24861
*****
 
LOL...LOL...LOL...!

Excel-flippin'-lent... Grin...!
What a larf... Grin...!
Well done... 8)...!

That's definitely one to stick in my "Fun Stuff" folder... 8)...!

Cheers all... 8)...!

Paul.
 

Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.
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Reply #3 - Oct 21st, 2004 at 3:17pm

Romulus111VADT   Offline
Colonel

Gender: male
Posts: 5521
*****
 
Quote:
LOL...LOL...LOL...!

Excel-flippin'-lent... Grin...!
What a larf... Grin...!
Well done... 8)...!

That's definitely one to stick in my "Fun Stuff" folder... 8)...!

Cheers all... 8)...!

Paul.


Wow, I rated a "Excel-flippin'-lent"....I have arrived... Grin

Glad you like it.

Grin
 

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #4 - Oct 21st, 2004 at 3:28pm

Fighting_Falcon   Offline
Colonel
The F-16 Fighting Falcon
Kitchener-Waterloo (Canada)

Gender: male
Posts: 269
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Grin Grin Grin Grin, lmao that's funny.
 

...&&Remember those who served.
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Reply #5 - Oct 21st, 2004 at 11:55pm

Travis   Offline
Colonel
Cannot find REALITY.SYS.
Universe halted.
Dripping Springs, TX

Gender: male
Posts: 4515
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Oh, that was spectacular! Grin
 

...
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Reply #6 - Oct 22nd, 2004 at 8:53am

Felix/FFDS   Offline
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FINALLY an official Granddad!
Orlando, FL

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The "Who's on First" routine has to be one of the classics of comedy.  I've seen clips of them doing it, and their delivery and timing have me laughing whenever I hear or see them doing it.

Comedians since then have "tried" variations on the theme, but the originals stand out.

I can, however, imagine Abbott and Costello doing this "modern" version ...

 

Felix/FFDS...
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