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› REALLY dumb criminals, Pt 1!
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REALLY dumb criminals, Pt 1! (Read 327 times)
May 7
th
, 2004 at 7:35pm
Wing Nut
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RUNNER-UP #9
Yankton, South Dakota: A woman was arrested at her step son's Boy Scout meeting. While watching a policeman demonstrate his drug dog's ability, the dog found a bag of grass in her purse.
RUNNER-UP #8
Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
RUNNER-UP #7
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
RUNNER-UP #6
San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
RUNNER-UP #5
From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture...of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine.
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Reply #1 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 3:16am
ozzy72
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Pretty scary huh?
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Some old favourites there
I am amazed how daft some people are
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #2 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 4:59am
Hagar
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Quote:
RUNNER-UP #5
From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture...of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine.
I find this amusing & not stupid at all. I suspect the motorist was a fan of the Goon Show like me & it's the sort of thing I would like to do. It's good to know that the police sometimes have a sense of humour too. This is not always evident these days.
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Reply #3 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 12:42pm
Tequila Sunrise
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no. 5 was a genious
If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?
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Reply #4 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 12:55pm
tsunami_KNUW
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Lol! Keep em' coming
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Reply #5 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 1:13pm
Woodlouse2002
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I like jam.
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I can't believe you consider no.5 to be a dumb criminal. He should be given a medal.
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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May 8
th
, 2004 at 1:40pm
Hagar
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He should be given a medal.
Well said Neddy. Major Bloodnok. Present this fine fellow with this photo of the George Cross in appreciation of a deed above & beyond the call of duty. There's a good chap. 8)
An exerpt from the Goon Show I was brought up on from an early age. This might explain my weird sense of humour.
Quote:
Grytpype: So, Neddy, you want us to kidnap the entire BBC announcing staff?
Seagoon: Yesyesyesyesyesyes! I've got to create vacancies for my own men. You'll be well paid.
Moriarty: Paid? Money? Money? How much? How much?
Seagoon: For every announcer removed I'll pay one simulation lead florin. And you can have that in writing.
Grytpype: We'd rather have it in cash, if you don't mind.
Seagoon: Very well [laughs], here's a photograph of a pound.
Grytpype: Thank you. Moriarty, see if this is a forgery.
Moriarty: [ambles away, mumbling]
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Reply #7 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 1:45pm
Woodlouse2002
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I like jam.
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Hehehe...
"Moriarty, climb through this picture of a hole in the side of an aeroplane. Good! Now throw the picture away before we fall out!"
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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Reply #8 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 1:49pm
Hagar
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Quote:
Hehehe...
"Moriarty, climb through this picture of a hole in the side of an aeroplane. Good! Now throw the picture away before we fall out!"
LMAO......! Classic.
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Reply #9 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 4:18pm
Woodlouse2002
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I like jam.
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My favorite was always from 1985...
Seagoon: Mind if I take a gander round the shop?
Krun: No, as long as it's house trained.
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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Reply #10 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 4:40pm
Hagar
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Quote:
My favorite was always from 1985...
Seagoon: Mind if I take a gander round the shop?
Krun: No, as long as it's house trained.
Good one. I can't possibly list all my favourites.
I found a Goon Show forum.
http://www.thegoonshow.co.uk/phpBB2/index.php?sid=71939d57213b29a8014db237973834...
Might be away for a while. Ahhhh the memories.
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Reply #11 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 4:58pm
Hagar
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Think I'm gong to have to start a thread on Goon Show quotes.
From the Pevensey Bay Disaster.
http://goonshowscripts.radiobangladesh.net/raw/series06/s06e10.html
Quote:
Seagoon: As I sat having my bath in the back of the snow-plough - a foul trick was played.
Grytpype: Hands up, Neddie, drop that soap. Moriarty, tie his hands - then hide them where he can't find them.
Seagoon: What a fiendish move - you naughty men - I'll write to The Times about this -
I have this one on tape somewhere. I must dig it out.
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Reply #12 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 5:08pm
Dan
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Reply #13 -
May 8
th
, 2004 at 8:48pm
BFMF
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lol
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