Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if
I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't
be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about
it. Those are my rules! Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... Whether you're here or
not."
( SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.' "Yeah?" she
replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here
Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was
nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you
so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this
early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in
spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides
that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to
leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion
shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece.
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN
HANDLE IT.
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