Search the archive:
Simviation Main Site
|
Site Search
|
Upload Images
Simviation Forum
›
General
›
Humour
› driving test answers ++REAL++
(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
Pages: 1
driving test answers ++REAL++ (Read 372 times)
Apr 10
th
, 2004 at 10:37pm
Daz
Offline
Colonel
in the morning im making
WAFFLES!
Leeds, UK
Gender:
Posts: 1171
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams
given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop
at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,
"Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too ____-faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer
drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a
flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
AMD athlon XP2800+ @2.34ghz&&Epox 8RDA3G 400 fsb, 8x AGP&&1024MB DDR400 PC3200&&XFX 256MB FX5950 Ultra (oc 525/1.04)&&40 gig maxtor 7200rpm&&80 gig seagate baracuda 7200rpm&&
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #1 -
Apr 10
th
, 2004 at 11:37pm
Jared
Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio
Gender:
Posts: 12621
lol, sadly I realize that those must be true...
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #2 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 1:00am
SilverFox441
Offline
Colonel
Now What?
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Gender:
Posts: 1467
Seen in California...
Bumper sticker reading:
"Cover me! I'm changing lanes."
Steve
(Silver Fox)
Daly
&&
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #3 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 5:34am
ozzy72
Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville
Gender:
Posts: 37122
Funny, if a little worrying. Don't forget that the worlds fastest failure of the driving test is still held by a Mr. Thomson of Lanarkshire.
In 1981 he managed to fail the test before the examiner had even got into the car, he arrived outside the test center and sounded his horn to summon the examiner, who strode out to the vehicle, said it was illegal to sound your horn whilst stationary, that Mr. Thomson had failed and strode back in again
Genius of this sort cannot be taught
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #4 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 7:04am
Daz
Offline
Colonel
in the morning im making
WAFFLES!
Leeds, UK
Gender:
Posts: 1171
that is well harsh lol "hand slipped come back"!
hear about the woman who failed the driving test 42 times or something ridiculous?
it was documented on tv she was doing a reverse around a corner and nearly hit the front door of the house on the corner!!!
AMD athlon XP2800+ @2.34ghz&&Epox 8RDA3G 400 fsb, 8x AGP&&1024MB DDR400 PC3200&&XFX 256MB FX5950 Ultra (oc 525/1.04)&&40 gig maxtor 7200rpm&&80 gig seagate baracuda 7200rpm&&
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #5 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 7:49am
ozzy72
Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville
Gender:
Posts: 37122
I remember reading about a lady in California who failed the test in 1 second. She mixed up the clutch and the accelerator and shot backwards through the wall of the test center
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #6 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 1:09pm
Iroquois
Offline
Colonel
Happy Halloween
Ontario Canada
Gender:
Posts: 3244
This sounds a bit right. I've seen my share of bad drivers. I'm not perfect but I've seen some pretty dangerous stuff. The other day I almost got hit after a stupid woman pulled into a turning lane and decided to go streight through. The lesson is, take the bus. (BTW, This was actually the second time this has happened to me).
I only pretend to know what I'm talking about. Heck, that's what lawyers, car mechanics, and IT professionals do everyday.
&&The Rig: &&AMD Athlon XP2000+ Palomino, ECS K7S5A 3.1, 1GB PC2700 DDR, Geforce FX5200 128mb, SB Live Platinum, 16xDVD, 16x10x40x CDRW, 40/60gb 7200rpm HDD, 325w Power, Windows XP Home SP1, Directx 9.0c with 66.81 Beta gfx drivers
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #7 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 3:26pm
Jared
Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio
Gender:
Posts: 12621
lol...We have an intersection downtown here where that happens about 3 times a week to me....
Good to know that it isn't all just here...
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #8 -
Apr 11
th
, 2004 at 3:57pm
Craig.
Offline
Colonel
Birmingham
Gender:
Posts: 18590
Quote:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate
if you were to show this to my instructor she would instantly point me out for being like that:)
as far as i am concerned,, pedestrians are the soft damagable ones, they should be the ones to look out more carefully, and hey if they dont then i have done the world a favor getting rid of a blind idiot
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #9 -
Apr 12
th
, 2004 at 4:07am
BFMF
Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest
Gender:
Posts: 19820
I'm happy to say that I got only one or two points wrong on both my written and practical driving tests
COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World
My Reality Check Bounced
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #10 -
Apr 12
th
, 2004 at 9:47am
Jared
Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio
Gender:
Posts: 12621
One point on the written over a stupid question...
in driving class they told us that lights were to be on 1/2 hour before dusk, and 1/2 hour after dawn...
the REAL answer that they were looking for was 1 hour....
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #11 -
Apr 12
th
, 2004 at 10:20am
Tequila Sunrise
Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland
Gender:
Posts: 4149
Quote:
illegal to sound your horn whilst stationary
whos gonna tell the cab drivers?
If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?
Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #12 -
Apr 15
th
, 2004 at 1:29am
Wing Nut
Offline
Colonel
Hoy-Hoy!
Gender:
Posts: 14173
You know, I should have known my last job was going to go bad when some a--hole almost backed over me in the parking lot on the first day.
HP p7-1300w
AMD Athlon II X4 650 Quad-core 3.2 Ghz
23" HP Widescreen monitor/19" Dell monitor
Windows 7 Home Premium
16 Gb DDR3 PC10600 Ram
1 Gb GeForce GTX 550Ti video card
1 TB RAID Drives
If you want to see the most beautiful girl in the world, CLICK HERE!
Back to top
IP Logged
Pages: 1
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
« Home
‹ Board
Top of this page
Forum Jump »
Home
» 10 most recent Posts
» 10 most recent Topics
Current Flight Simulator Series
- Flight Simulator X
- FS 2004 - A Century of Flight
- Adding Aircraft Traffic (AI) & Gates
- Flight School
- Flightgear
- MS Flight
Graphic Gallery
- Simviation Screenshots Showcase
- Screenshot Contest
- Edited Screenshots
- Photos & Cameras
- Payware Screenshot Showcase
- Studio V Screenshot Workshop
- Video
- The Cage
Design Forums
- Aircraft & 3D Design
- Scenery & Panel Design
- Aircraft Repainting
- Designer Feedback
General
- General Discussion
- Humour ««
- Music, Arts & Entertainment
- Sport
Computer Hardware & Software Forum
- Hardware
- Tweaking & Overclocking
- Computer Games & Software
- HomeBuild Cockpits
Addons Most Wanted
- Aircraft Wanted
- Other Add-ons Wanted
Real World
- Real Aviation
- Specific Aircraft Types
- Autos
- History
On-line Interactive Flying
- Virtual Airlines Events & Messages
- Multiplayer
Simviation Site
- Simviation News & Info
- Suggestions for these forums
- Site Questions & Feedback
- Site Problems & Broken Links
Combat Flight Simulators
- Combat Flight Simulator 3
- Combat Flight Simulator 2
- Combat Flight Simulator
- CFS Development
- IL-2 Sturmovik
Other Websites
- Your Site
- Other Sites
Payware
- Payware
Old Flight Simulator Series
- FS 2002
- FS 2000
- Flight Simulator 98
Simviation Forum
» Powered by
YaBB 2.5 AE
!
YaBB Forum Software
© 2000-2010. All Rights Reserved.