AVIATION DEFINITIONS :


Dive - Pilots' lounge or airport cafe.


Engine Failure - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks become filled with air.

Glider - Formerly "airplane," whose fuel tanks have become filled with air.

Glide Distance-Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.

Range - Usually about 30 miles beyond the point where all fuel tanks fill with air.

Exceptional Flying Ability - Has equal number of takeoffs and landings.


Flashlight - Tubular metal container kept in flight bag for storing dead batteries.


Occupied - An airline term for lavatory.


Pilot - A poor, misguided soul who talks about women when he's flying and flying when he's with a woman.


Roger – 1. The most popular name in radio.

2. Used when you're not sure what else to say.

Wilco - Roger's brother, the nerd.


Short-field Takeoff - Air Force term for takeoff from any field less than 10,000 feet long.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool.

Want proof? Make it stop, then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.


A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.

A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver

A smooth touchdown in a simulator is about as exciting as kissing your sister.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.


Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man...a carrier landing is the first!



A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them random in motion.

Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them!

Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.


Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.


There are four ways to fly : the right way, the wrong way, the company way and the captain's way. Only the last one counts.

FAA rule:

As an aviator in flight you can do anything you want...

As long as it's right ...

And we'll let you if its right after you get down.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.


Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing :

Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.


Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.


Rogers never met a fighter pilot.

"Never fly the 'A' model of anything" (Layton A. Bennett)

lol!