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Operating systems... (Read 243 times)
Jan 10th, 2004 at 10:57pm

Jared   Offline
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Airlines running operating systems
Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.

DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.

DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing.

Macintosh: All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a question, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up.

OS/2: To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form asking how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers before you crash.

Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.

NT: The terminal and flight attendants all look like those the Windows plane uses, but the process of checking in and going through security is a nightmare. Once aboard, those passengers with first class tickets can go anywhere they want and arrive in half the time, while the vast majority of passengers with coach tickets can't even get aboard.

Unix: Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the runway and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of plane they're building.

CAIRO: The airplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13 airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you don't need to know where the airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you don't fly the airplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just like the real thing except that you don't go anywhere. But that's okay, because when the world is at your fingertips you never need to leave home.

 
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Reply #1 - Jan 14th, 2004 at 7:41pm

russ   Offline
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Quote:
Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.


OMG!! LOL!!!! so true
 
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Reply #2 - Jan 14th, 2004 at 7:58pm

Jared   Offline
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Unfortunately it is too true!
 
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Reply #3 - Jan 14th, 2004 at 8:32pm

BFMF   Offline
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lol
 
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Reply #4 - Jan 15th, 2004 at 10:34am

Omag 2.0   Offline
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Quote:
Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.


Its not because you have an windows attendant, that he/she will do her job on the plane. He/she can kick any passenger back to the gate without any notice... or while saying: do you want to send a report to the airline?

introducing a new flight attendant mostly results in the need to replace the pilots, the seats and the engines of the plane, in order to make it fly decently again.

Flight attendants trained to fly a certain type of plane won't function on a newer version of that same plane.

 

&&...&&&&Check my aviation-photo's at www.airliners.be&&&&Or go straight to Omag's Album
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Reply #5 - Jan 15th, 2004 at 10:35am

Jared   Offline
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Now That's Funny!  Grin
 
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Reply #6 - Jan 15th, 2004 at 1:12pm
Flying Trucker   Ex Member

 

Grin GrinLOL Grin Grin

Like the old saying..(TIME TO SPARE..GO BY AIR)

Cheers...Happy Landings...Doug
 
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Reply #7 - Jan 19th, 2004 at 3:29am

Wing Nut   Offline
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Windows and OS/2 seem about right!  Grin
 

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