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Rules of Chocolate (Read 308 times)
Dec 28th, 2003 at 4:30pm

Romulus111VADT   Offline
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If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices &
strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem:
How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car.

The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip:

Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter!!! Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

For Ozzy.... Grin




 

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #1 - Dec 28th, 2003 at 6:30pm

Politically Incorrect   Offline
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I now feel better about myself!! Smiley
 
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Reply #2 - Dec 28th, 2003 at 6:59pm

Romulus111VADT   Offline
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Quote:
I now feel better about myself!! Smiley


I'm glad.... Grin
 

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #3 - Dec 28th, 2003 at 9:27pm

chomp_rock   Offline
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I must confess, I was
born at a very early
age.

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Quote:
I now feel better about myself!! Smiley


Same here!
 

AMD Athlon 64 3700+&&GeForce FX5200 256Mb&&1GB DDR400 DC&&Seagate 500Gb SATA-300 HDD&&Windows XP Professional X64 Edition
&&&&That's right, I'm now using an AMD! I decided to give them another try and they kicked the pants off of my P4 3.4!
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Reply #4 - Dec 29th, 2003 at 4:04am

ozzy72   Offline
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Romulus, you know me to well Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

Ozzy (High Priest of Chocoholism) 8)
 

...
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #5 - Dec 29th, 2003 at 4:53am

Politically Incorrect   Offline
Colonel
Personal opinion given
free of charge!
Williamsport, PA

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Posts: 3915
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Quote:
Romulus, you know me to well Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

Ozzy (High Priest of Chocoholism) 8)


"ALL BOW TO THE GREAT AND WONDERFUL OZ!"
 
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Reply #6 - Dec 29th, 2003 at 5:45pm

Sock   Offline
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Satan is cool.
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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........Chocolate......*Drools*

Sock Cheesy
 
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Reply #7 - Dec 30th, 2003 at 7:32am

Polynomial   Offline
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Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
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even though  im not chocolates biggest fan . . . lol! Cheesy
 
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Reply #8 - Dec 30th, 2003 at 3:16pm

Squeek   Offline
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Legacy the poor mans Learjet
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darn u, now i need to go out and buy chocolate... and have u ever seen the look on someones face when u buy a $0.75 choclate bar with a $20? or a $50... try it, i usally get a laugh out of it
 

A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....&&&&Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.
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Reply #9 - Dec 30th, 2003 at 11:06pm

Deputy   Offline
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Hillsboro, Oregon

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Quote:
darn u, now i need to go out and buy chocolate... and have u ever seen the look on someones face when u buy a $0.75 choclate bar with a $20? or a $50... try it, i usally get a laugh out of it



Anyways. . . Any people here remember when McDonnalds was doing it's $0.29 hamburgers? Buy one of those with a $100. That'll piss them off.
 

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&&... &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&
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