Simviation Forum - Quicky Jokes!

Dec 17^th, 2003 at 8:14pm

Tchkinjiu Offline
Colonel
"Toph"
Aberystwyth

Gender:
Posts: 1187

1. How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

2. What do eskimos get from sitting on ice?
Poloroids

3. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese

4. What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko

5. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk

6. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite

7. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him

8. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
They have big fingers

9. What kind of coffee was served on the titanic?
Sanka

10. What's the difference between a Harley & a Hoover?
Location of the dirt bag

11. What the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes whack...damn...
A bad skydiver goes damn...whack...

12. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it

13. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it

14. What do you call skydiving lawyers?
Skeet

15. What goes Clop, Clop, Clop, Bang, Bang, Clop, Clop, Clop?
An Amish drive-by-shooting

16. What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer

"Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little."

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Reply #1 - Dec 18^th, 2003 at 6:09am

Polynomial Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

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Posts: 1951

lol

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Reply #2 - Dec 18^th, 2003 at 6:47am

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

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Posts: 4149

"11. What the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes whack...damn...
A bad skydiver goes damn...whack... "

Grin

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

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Reply #3 - Dec 18^th, 2003 at 8:35am

Dan Offline
Colonel
Meet Bogart! Thanks CRAIG!
Carmarthenshire, Wales, Uk!

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Posts: 2053

LMAO

&&3DMark01 || OCUK - The best UK shop

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Reply #4 - Dec 18^th, 2003 at 3:01pm

Flying Trucker Ex Member

Good...good...LOL Grin

Cheers.....Doug

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Reply #5 - Dec 18^th, 2003 at 6:15pm

Woodlouse2002 Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England

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Posts: 12574

No. 8 just got me right in the side. Grin

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

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Reply #6 - Dec 18^th, 2003 at 8:33pm

Squeek Offline
Colonel
Legacy the poor mans Learjet
United States of America

Gender:
Posts: 820

my dad used to skydive... and he has almost gone "S*** wack" a few time... im not kidding

A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....&&&&Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.

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Reply #7 - Dec 19^th, 2003 at 5:23pm

Tchkinjiu Offline
Colonel
"Toph"
Aberystwyth

Gender:
Posts: 1187

Preciate it, got some really corny jokes, so I left them out, unless you want to hear them? Wink

"Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little."

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Reply #8 - Dec 20^th, 2003 at 9:18pm

chomp_rock Offline
Colonel
I must confess, I was
born at a very early
age.

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Posts: 2718

LOL!

AMD Athlon 64 3700+&&GeForce FX5200 256Mb&&1GB DDR400 DC&&Seagate 500Gb SATA-300 HDD&&Windows XP Professional X64 Edition&&&&That's right, I'm now using an AMD! I decided to give them another try and they kicked the pants off of my P4 3.4!

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Reply #9 - Dec 24^th, 2003 at 5:01am

Politically Incorrect Offline
Colonel
Personal opinion given
free of charge!
Williamsport, PA

Gender:
Posts: 3915

16. What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer

TRUE!!! Grin

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Reply #10 - Dec 24^th, 2003 at 5:20am

Travis Offline
Colonel
Cannot find REALITY.SYS.
Universe halted.
Dripping Springs, TX

Gender:
Posts: 4515

Oh, lordy! Roll Eyes

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