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Story of the Burp (Read 272 times)

Dec 2^nd, 2003 at 6:23pm

Tchkinjiu Offline
Colonel
"Toph"
Aberystwyth

Gender:
Posts: 1187

Here is the story of the burp. Put on you reading glasses and settle down, as this is a bit of a long story.

==============================================================

The Story of the Burp.

Of course this story is more like a delicate matter. Usually a subject that is vulgar and infamous for its troubles. This is the story of the burp. Please note that this story may contain obscene language such as “Fart”, “Bottom”, and “Ouch”. So put the children to sleep and be ready to enjoy the tale.

After the whole story of the beginning of time, and all that mumbo-jumbo, the world was a perfect world. Civilization was at its’ roots and malicious viruses and other unwanted diseases were millenniums away from being developed. This was the time that you could prance in the meadow and find dandelions. Education was not necessary since all you wanted to do is prance and forest wild berries.

Now of all the gods, there was THOR. Not to be confused with the modern TV show, this god was the god of all gods (notice the font that makes it look of utmost importance). He could develop anything unimaginable that you would never have imagined. He over powered all other gods, and he alone, could take them all on at once and yet still rule over the sphere of the earth. This God is not in this story.

Benny was the name of the lesser god of bad thingies and such. Now this guy…or should I say god, is the causer of the burp. Just so that you know. Benny was one of the first bad gods. He knew he was no match for THOR, so he decided to be a rebel without a cause and rebel against his authority.

Not much later (more like a day later), Benny found out he made a really, really, like really stupid mistake. Not only was he bored but very angry with himself. He walked among the beautiful pastures that he is used to play on with his friends and find dandelions, until he came up with an idea. “Hmmmm” he said. “I wonder how much havoc I can bring upon the newly created humans!” Of course we know already that this dude is going to fail like he does at everything else, but hey, it’s an idea. Anyways he kept on talking to himself. “Yes indeed!!!! Maybe I can show THOR and the other greater gods that they should respect ‘Moi’… AND THEY WILL ALL WORSHIP ME!!!”

Silly Benny doesn’t quit after being nuked. Is that a good thing?

Benny, now humming the theme song of Mission Impossible, mysteriously sneaks around the little huts of a village near the beautiful pastures. He spots a lady around her late 80’s knitting what seems to be a colorful wool blanket. He spasmodically quits humming. He glares at the focused yet gentle woman, unaware of the chaos about to resume. He quickly ponders about the situation (we’re thinking about a second) and quickly dashes up to the lady. The woman quickly screams and he quickly remembers how he is not quick and the lady is yelling and the guys and the dogs and oh my gosh the quickness, all over, quick, quick, there is a sale on isle 10, wholly cow quick, HELP US DEAR GOD!

Instantly the rest of the tribe went to see what was causing the chaos. They stopped midst the action and found the 2 creatures just standing and yelling each other, not stopping for a millisecond to breath. The old ugly woman and the lesser ugly god, which is uglier than the ugly lady, kept staring at each other. And staring.
Staring.
Oh wait they are yelling again.
Alright. Now staring.
Then a man amongst the crowd yells. “Damn that man is ugly”
Then another man in a different section of the crowd with a white robe, with a KKK imprinted on his chest yells “Therefore… LET’S GET HIM!!!”
Another man yells even harder “Look everybody, his fly is open”

The little god now starting to panic looks around rapidly for an idea of what to do.

It strikes him as fast as you or me to get the equation

N

LTE

= 6.39 x 10

Q _v_ (V)_V
1 -

- [size=1/2]To/Tex[/size]

He decides he must vanish somewhere. He looks at the lady with some anger in his eyes. He turns into a little cloud and as he rushes towards the frantic woman, he ousts out “This is my revenge for embarrassing me and corrupting my plan for the god superiority.
The woman falls on her bottom with a thud, yet falls so comfortably thanks to her padded buttocks. She silently gazes around at all the attentive eyes of the tribe around her. Then opens her mouth. And lets go one of the loudest, smelliest, grossest, yet rudest thing you will ever hear. The god left her mouth and swore that he will for the rest of eternity, damn all of mankind by flying into their bodies like a parasite, only to be gassed out by the host. No one ever talked to that lady again.

"Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little."

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Reply #1 - Dec 3^rd, 2003 at 7:08am

Polynomial Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 1951

aha ???

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Reply #2 - Dec 4^th, 2003 at 9:46pm

chomp_rock Offline
Colonel
I must confess, I was
born at a very early
age.

Gender:
Posts: 2718

Guh???

AMD Athlon 64 3700+&&GeForce FX5200 256Mb&&1GB DDR400 DC&&Seagate 500Gb SATA-300 HDD&&Windows XP Professional X64 Edition&&&&That's right, I'm now using an AMD! I decided to give them another try and they kicked the pants off of my P4 3.4!

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Reply #3 - Dec 5^th, 2003 at 11:32pm

Sock Offline
Colonel
Satan is cool.
Hudson, NY USA

Gender:
Posts: 2098

Jigga what? ???

Sock ???

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