Simviation Forum - Ancient Chinese Torture

Nov 26^th, 2003 at 9:42pm

Triple_7 Ex Member

Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost." Shocked

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Reply #1 - Nov 26^th, 2003 at 9:55pm

Jared Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

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Ouch! I'm grimacing in pain as I type! Just thinking about that situation makes shivers run down the spine...

Funny though! Grin

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Reply #2 - Nov 26^th, 2003 at 11:12pm

ysteinbuch Offline
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A little turbulence doesn't
hurt!
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Painfully funny!!

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Reply #3 - Nov 27^th, 2003 at 3:28am

BFMF Offline
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Pacific Northwest

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been posted before

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

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Reply #4 - Nov 27^th, 2003 at 5:02pm

farmerdave Offline
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St. Clairsville Red Devils!
St. Clairsville Ohio

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Quote:

been posted before

Andrew "Been Posted Before" Esselbach strikes again! Wink

j/k!

&&&&&&&&&&

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Reply #5 - Nov 27^th, 2003 at 9:02pm

Tchkinjiu Offline
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"Toph"
Aberystwyth

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Quote:

Andrew "Been Posted Before" Esselbach strikes again! Wink

j/k!

Tell me when, and I'll give you applause!

It's funny cause it's true...

Stories good too! Grin

"Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little."

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Reply #6 - Nov 27^th, 2003 at 10:39pm

Wing Nut Offline
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Hoy-Hoy!

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Oh man, I don't care what language you speak, that's gotta hurt! Cheesy

HP p7-1300w
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If you want to see the most beautiful girl in the world, CLICK HERE!

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Reply #7 - Dec 2^nd, 2003 at 12:57am

the_autopilot Offline
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Tell me when, and I'll give you applause!

It's funny cause it's true...

Stories good too! Grin

Ok no problem,

do a search and you'll find 3 posts, most of them older than 2 months.

Link to sig:&&Click here&&(Cannot post signature here due to current forum restrications on linked images).

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Reply #8 - Dec 3^rd, 2003 at 7:20am

Polynomial Offline
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Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

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Quote:

been posted before

sure has been remember pissing myself laughing the first time! Cheesy

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Reply #9 - Dec 4^th, 2003 at 9:39pm

chomp_rock Offline
Colonel
I must confess, I was
born at a very early
age.

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Quote:

Oh man, I don't care what language you speak, that's gotta hurt! Cheesy

I would have to say the same!

AMD Athlon 64 3700+&&GeForce FX5200 256Mb&&1GB DDR400 DC&&Seagate 500Gb SATA-300 HDD&&Windows XP Professional X64 Edition&&&&That's right, I'm now using an AMD! I decided to give them another try and they kicked the pants off of my P4 3.4!

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