When people say "I'm not racist but. . ." and then they say something racist. 

Retail establishments displaying stuff on thin metal sticks hanging at toddler eye level.

Turning on a bedside light without warning, thus ensuring a victim's pupils are fully dialated. . . Gah. . .

Referring to any agency of national government as 'the feds.' 

Finding a TV remote in the car or anywhere else where it couldn't possibly be used.

TV shows or ads with doorbells, ringing phones, or alarm clocks.   

Giving or getting lethal tools or weapons as gifts, especially for weddings, anniversaries.

People that don't believe a word I say. Like, your under arrest.

Lights that turn red just as your far enough away you'd have to stop, but your the only car for a long ways.

Quote:

LOL I know the problem. I do have a doorbell & one of the TV ads has one that sounds just like it. When I used to watch TV I was continually getting up to answer the door to find nobody there. ??? I figured it out in the end. 8) Should have known better as I don't have too many visitors. Most people seem to avoid me for some reason.

One of my pet hates is someone ringing my doorbell trying to sell me something I don't want, usually at the most inopportune moment. The poor fools obviously don't know what they've let themselves in for. I'm a past master in the art of confusion & they are easy meat. I have even been known to sell them something. LOL

When you're a cop, you stop a drunk driver and they insist, "I only had two beers, occifer!"  Yes, but were they in two 55 gallon drums?

Every suspect, even if you found them standing over a corpse holding a smoking gun, will insist, "I din' do nothin'!"

Stopping a speeder who indignantly informs you, "My taxes pay your salary."

Here's one along the same lines as the doorbell on TV:

When you're driving and the radio plays an ad with the sound of a car horn, siren. or car crash.