Simviation Forum - things to ponder

Sep 30^th, 2003 at 5:34pm

cub3pp Ex Member

Things To Ponder

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, are tests testicals??

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does mo! rality
come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

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Reply #1 - Sep 30^th, 2003 at 5:39pm

Jared Offline
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I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

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lol...I remember posting these a couple of months ago and everyone was mad cuz they had been posted before... Roll Eyes

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Reply #2 - Sep 30^th, 2003 at 6:22pm

Wing Nut Offline
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Why do toasters have a special slot for just one piece, but when you use it, both sides come on? ??? Grin

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Reply #3 - Sep 30^th, 2003 at 9:22pm

cub3pp Ex Member

Quote:

Why do toasters have a special slot for just one piece, but when you use it, both sides come on? ??? Grin

good point, hmm....uhhh.....idunno ???

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Reply #4 - Sep 30^th, 2003 at 9:32pm

Deputy Offline
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Hillsboro, Oregon

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Quote:

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Heh heh. Good one.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

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Reply #5 - Sep 30^th, 2003 at 10:12pm

cub3pp Ex Member

hey like your picture of the licence plate deputy

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Reply #6 - Oct 1^st, 2003 at 12:08pm

Deputy Offline
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Hillsboro, Oregon

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Thanks

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

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Reply #7 - Oct 1^st, 2003 at 3:34pm

Squeek Offline
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Legacy the poor mans Learjet
United States of America

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funny

A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....&&&&Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.

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Reply #8 - Oct 1^st, 2003 at 4:44pm

flyboy 28 Offline
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Jacksonville, FL

Posts: 13323

lol.

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Reply #9 - Oct 4^th, 2003 at 4:32pm

GreG Offline
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Cape Town, South Africa.

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Posts: 1074

The dog thing is quite funny!

I'm always blowing in my small dogs face, he hates it, and whenever he goes in the car, he loves sticking his head out the window in the strong breeze!

Here's another thing that could be part of the list.

Why do car manufacturers make cars faster than around 300Km/h? When the highest speed limit is 120Km/h! If you look on the speedometer in most new cars it goes up to at least 260Km/h.

Greg

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

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Reply #10 - Oct 4^th, 2003 at 4:41pm

Woodlouse2002 Offline
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I like jam.
Cornwall, England

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My freezer has a light. Tongue

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

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Reply #11 - Oct 4^th, 2003 at 5:05pm

Wing Nut Offline
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Hoy-Hoy!

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Quote:

Why do car manufacturers make cars faster than around 300Km/h? When the highest speed limit is 120Km/h! If you look on the speedometer in most new cars it goes up to at least 260Km/h.

Greg

Cars are made to go faster than the speed limit because the engine needs to run at a nice even speed instead of flat out. If an engine were to run at 120 mph, it would be under more stress than at say 75 mph and the engine would fail sooner. So they design the engine to go faster than it needs so the legal speed is more towards the center of it's ability. Think of a balloon. If you blow it up as much as you can, it will pop; but if you blow it up and leave room for expansion, the surface will be tougher and less prone to breaking.

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Reply #12 - Oct 6^th, 2003 at 2:05am

Polynomial Offline
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Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

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very interesting things to ponder . . . .

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