I stopped being nice, and just hang up, when they call these days................presto-problem solved, and it didn't even take an act of Congress. 

Oh oh, I love telemarketers. They are great to vent your steam on. I have lots-o-fun. First, I ask to speak with the manager or supervisor. I wan't to deal with them. I will go with it, change voices many times (pretend to be somebody else - while obiously being the same person) then, near the end, after they think they have convinced me (after being on the phone for about half an hour) I say, wait, I already have you're competitors product, and its much better. Then, I slam the phone down on the hook. Then, I press *69, and call them back, and try to sell them something.

Hmmm, that gives me an idea. Give them a fake credit card number, and insist that it is now, only 3 numbers long.

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My favorite is the telemarketeer (I did spell it that way on porpoise) who DOES leave a message. It's usually computerized or at least pre-recorded or "canned". Who, on this planet, replies to those?! That would be like speeding tickets on the "honor system", or maybe a self performed, do it in the comfort of your own home dental procedure.

I don't have this problem anymore. I'm on the list as "That madman that doesn't speak Hungarian!"
I find after about a minute of demented Scotsman in a temper (my favourite accent), they hang up

Ozzy

I didn't vote, because I'm a telemarketer.  haha j/k

Seriously though, I didn't vote because I don't mind when they call.  Honestly.  I have entirely too much fun with them when they do.

Once when a girl called trying to sell me a vacation, the conversation went like this:

Girl:  We're offering travel packages, including airfare, at the absolute lowest price available.  You won't be able to find a price lower than this.

Scott:  I doubt it.

Girl:  You doubt what?

Scott:  I doubt you can beat the prices that I can get.

Girl:  No, you won't be able to get a lower price.

Scott:  Are you sure?

Girl:  I guarantee it.

Scott:  Can you beat twenty dollars round trip?

Girl:  What?

Scott:  Can you beat twenty dollars round trip?

Girl:  Well....no....but there's no way you'll be able to get that price either.

Scott:  You're wrong.

Girl:  There's no way on earth you can get that kind of price.

Scott:  Don't be so sure.

Girl:  You're telling me that you can get airfare for twenty dollars round trip?

Scott:  That's what I'm telling you.

Girl:  How?

Scott:  I'm a flight attendant for Continental Airlines.

Girl:  Silence.

Scott:  Hello?

Girl:  Really?

Scott:  Yes.

We continued to talk about my job, and I even gave her the number for inflight recruiting, until her boss got on the phone.  I think he had a little thing for her, because he got all crazy jealous that I was flirting with her.  She said she was going to call back when she got home and off the clock, but the boss guy was an a$$ and she quickly changed her tune.  lol

Now, I don't even have a home phone.  Everything Sarah and I do is with our cell phones.  Problem solved.  lol

If its a cordles phone I go along with it and put the mouthpiece next to a very large speaker or amp and make a hell of a lot of noise

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Have you ever heard the expression " an Elephant in a Bunny suit................?     "

OMG!!!! From now one, I'm going to try that!!! LMFAO

Man, you people come up with craziest, yet funny-@55 ideas!!!! LOL

When I was in high school, a friend of mine in English 4 class was telling me that he was prank-calling. LOL Oh god. LOL

This is how it went (he told me):

Friend - Hello? (disguising his voice. hehe)

Man - Yes?

Friend - Who is this?

Man - Mike.

Friend - OHHH!!!! Hey Mike it's me!! I've been trying to make a proposition to you, man.

Man - Who the hell is this?

Friend - This is the Devil!!!!!! You know me.

Man - No, I don't!!!! What the hell you want?

Friend - I want you to accept my proposition.

Man - And what's that?

Friend - I will make you the richest and most powerful guy on Earth!!!!! Money, all the fine-@55 women, everything. All I need is that you do me a tiny little favor.

Man - And what's that?

Friend - Sell me your SOUL!!!!!!!

Man - I ask again, who the hell is this??

Friend - I told you!!!! This is the Devil!!!!!! So, are you're gonna accept my proposition or no?

Man - (hangs up)

Friend - LOL

I was then asking my friend how the hell he avoided having his cell phone number detected by the guy's caller ID (if the guys has one).

He told me that all you have to do is dial Star-Something-Something (I forgot what the number was) before you dial the regular phone number. This keeps those caller ID's from detecting your phone number.

I wanna try that on a telemarketer!!! It would be so fun. LOL

How many of you people have ideas that are as crazy and as funny as my friend's? LOL

I just don't see the big deal about telemarketers, for a few reasons.

1.  If their services really didn't work, the industry wouldn't be thriving as much as it is.  (Which it obviously is, because they've all got jobs.)

2.  What's the problem with hanging up and ending the problem?

3.  This list is useless anyway.  New York has a do not call list, and I've seen how it works.  They're still allowed to call you.  You have to tell them that you're on the list.  INDIVIDUALLY.  Then, if they call again, you've got to fill out a form that reports them.

It's a lot easier to hang up.  Who cares, anyway?  Is it really so hard to do that its worth getting this worked up over?

I'd suggest either hanging up on them, or getting caller ID, that way you know it's them and you don't have to answer.

on the cell phone side, i have been receiving, more calls from telemarketers through that than my home phone lately. however, i shouldnt be as i was told by my phone company that i wouldnt get any telemarketers calling that phone, and since i havent given out my number to  any company, i will be looking into it, to see who gave it out

The caller-id of my household helps alot! When it says OUT OF AREA and has no number I don't answer or answer and say "We ain't got no phone!" in my best southerner accent then slam it .

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  Sounds like a description of my house to a T.
Except We also have caller ID, if it comes up 'out of area' or any message other than a number We recognize, you'll be talkin' to the answering machine before you will talk to Us.
 

That's all very well Hype but what about genuine callers? Seems to me that everything positive we try to do these days is messed up either by vandals or someone trying to make profit out of it.

I can remember the same problem on the FAX machines at work. This was long before mobile phones or even e-mail became popular. A great deal of valuable time was wasted printing off what is now known as Spam which was so much waste paper & went straight in the bin. I do the same with the mountain of junk mail that comes through my letterbox on a regular basis. It's about time somebody, somewhere came up with a permanent solution. IMHO

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died . . . "

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work
if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could
know you from.

Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.

Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that
telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your
dinner conversation.

Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Talk really fast.

Make up your own language. Speak it.

Make up a one word language. Speak it.

Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear them over the static.

Say, "This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have an emergency?" If they say "Yes" say, "Please state the nature of the emergency." Then insist that their emergency isn't an emergency. If they say "No" say, "I'm sorry but this line is for emergencies only."

Pretend that you are a hostage negotiator, and try to get the telemarketer to release the hostages.

Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a meatball sub.

Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing.

Communicate only through Morse code.

Talk to the telemarketer. During the conversation dial the phone, and ask for Bill. Do this repeatedly.

Try to sell the telemarketer something. Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like, "They'll never catch me again," "No! Not the jacket! No, no, no!" After saying one of these mutter incoherently.

Make him/her sing to get a sale. If a male sings, claim that he sounds like Britney Spears. If a female sings, claim that she sounds like Barry White.

Pretend to be really interested. Then say, "No."

Say nothing until he/she hangs up.

Say, "Yes" to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.

Pretend you just took hostages, and make demands.

Ask for a date.

Claim to be the mafia.

Say, "Moe's tavern Moe speaking."

Claim to be the FBI. Say, "This is the Federal Bureau of Investigation. How may I help you?"

Act drunk.

Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number. Claim that you need some time to think, and that you'll get back to them.

Pretend you are a telemarketer from a rival company. Get him/her to buy your product.

When they say hello say: ohh no...daddy put down that gun. daddy, i said PUT DOWN that gun!

Where the hell do you come up with these crazy ideas. LOL. Man, you're so funny. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Word has just spread, the Do-Not-Call list is in effect as of today. Those damn tele-scumbags will soon be going through some real hell as their business tumbles.  8)

My crazy ideas:

1. When a telemarketer calls you, say that you Fidel Castro and that you are accusing them for prank-calling you as Chavez. LOL

2. Pretend that you are a recruiter from the U.S. Marines. Tell them that they are now enlisted for the Marines, and that they are scheduled to go to boot camp tomorrow. LMFAO. This will scare 'em.

3. Pretend that you are Morpheous or Niobe and tell them that the Matrix has them all. Then instruct them to do all these crazy things (like climbing out the window). Hehe.

4. Put on a movie full of violence (like BlackHawk Down) and then pump up the volume. When a telemarketer calls, talk like you're in the middle of a war in Mogadishu. And they don't believe you, put the phone close to the TV and you'll hear them get hyped up. LOL

5. Tell them that you have just graduated from anger management therapy and that you don't want them to piss you off. hehe

Brad, those are utterly priceless.  Thanks mate!

Will