You might be a redneck if ...

* You like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!

* You have ever vacationed in a highway rest area.

* You check the mileage on your home.

* Your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand!

* When the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart!

* Your house include "Turn off the paved road..."

* If you have to go outside to get something from your fridge.

* You do all of your shopping at a truck stop.

* You might be a redneck if your mother has stocked up on ammo.

* You can't marry your sweetheart because there's a law against it!

* If your belt buckle is bigger than your head.

* If you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

* You go to your family reunion to meet women!

* Your high school fight song was "Dueling Banjos!

* If you use your ironing board as a buffet table.

* If you consider the fifth grade your senior year!

* When cooking, your fly swatter doubles as your spatula!

* You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars!

* If your wife yells, "Come on, move this transmission so I can take a bath!

* If your gas pedal in the car is shaped like a bare foot!

* If you think the first four words of the national anthem are, "Gentlemen start your engines!"