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Raise Request (Read 173 times)
Sep 17th, 2003 at 11:54pm

BMan1113VR   Offline
Colonel
Los Angeles, California

Gender: male
Posts: 9196
*****
 
Subject: Raise Request
    >
    >
    > >> I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following
    > >> reasons:
    > >>
    > >> I do physical labor.
    > >> I work at great depths.
    > >> I plunge head first into everything I do.
    > >> I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
    > >> I work in a damp environment.
    > >> I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
    > >> I work in high temperatures.
    > >> My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
    > >>
    > >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > >> The Response:
    > >>
    > >> Dear Penis:
    > >> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
    > >> have raised,
    > >> the administration rejects your request for the following
    > >> reasons:
    > >>
    > >> You do not work 8 hours straight.
    > >> You fall asleep after brief work periods.
    > >> You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
    > >> You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
    > >> visiting other locations.
    > >> You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and
    > >> stimulated in order to start working.
    > >> You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
    > >> You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
    > >> wearing the correct protective clothing.
    > >> You will retire well before you are 65.
    > >> You are unable to work double shifts.
    > >> >> >>You sometimes leave your designated work area before you
have
    > >> completed the assigned task.
    > >> And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly
    > >> entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking
    bags.
    > >>
    > >> Sincerely,
    > >> The Management
 

Sincerely,&&Me&&...&&SimV NFL 2006-2007 Season Pool Co-Champion (157-99; 9-2)&&SimV NFL 2005-2006 Season Pool Co-Champion (163-93)&&SimV NFL 2004-2005 Season Pool Champion (166-90) &&
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Reply #1 - Sep 18th, 2003 at 6:15am

Polynomial   Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

Gender: male
Posts: 1951
*****
 
Roll Eyes
 
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Reply #2 - Sep 18th, 2003 at 3:27pm

Cherokee_6   Offline
Colonel
Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Gender: male
Posts: 1298
*****
 
Roll Eyes exactly  Roll Eyes
 

P4 2.6 Ghz w/ 800Mhz FSB & HT Technology, XP Home, 512MB Dual Channel DDR SDRAM at 333 Mhz, 128MB GeForce FX 5200 Video Card, 80GB Ultra ATA/100 HD, Sound Blaster Live! 5.1 w/ Dolby Digital Sound Card.
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Reply #3 - Sep 18th, 2003 at 9:07pm

Sock   Offline
Colonel
Satan is cool.
Hudson, NY USA

Gender: male
Posts: 2098
*****
 
Penis, when will you learn... Undecided  Great joke man.   Grin

Sock Grin
 
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Reply #4 - Sep 19th, 2003 at 10:06pm

Deputy   Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender: male
Posts: 2090
*****
 
euuughhh. . . Thats not funny.
 

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&&... &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&
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