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logical scientist (Read 374 times)

Sep 8^th, 2003 at 9:30am

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

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Posts: 37122

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker ! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

Dave: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession

Dave: - Oh ! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ...Do you have a goldfish at home?

Dave: - Er ... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a Bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Dave: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have large garden then you have a large house?

Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built It myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Dave:- Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not
masturbate very often?

Dave: - Me? Never

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Dave: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life !

Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Stuart: - What's that then?

Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Stuart: - Nope

Dave: - Well then, you're a w****r!

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

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Reply #1 - Sep 8^th, 2003 at 10:32am

HerSELF Offline
Colonel
DESMOND. Artwork Edited
by Pippin
Norfolk, England

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Posts: 343

ROFLMAO

Did not expect that punchline. Nice one Mark.

Sarah

The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

&&&&

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Reply #2 - Sep 8^th, 2003 at 10:36am

Jared Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

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Posts: 12621

LOL...

Heard a different version of the same joke before, still makes me laugh! Good job!

Silly Boy

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Reply #3 - Sep 8^th, 2003 at 12:53pm

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

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Posts: 4149

LOL

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

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Reply #4 - Sep 8^th, 2003 at 1:57pm