A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.

"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,"one complained.

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said..."Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!"
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Two good things from having Alzheimer's disease:
1. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
2. You meet someone new every day.
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Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!".

The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"
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What's the best thing about turning 65?
No more calls from insurance salesmen.
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"What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer
sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out. "I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!"

So the old man sat down and wept too.
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.

"Yuck!" says the woman.. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."