"I was flying into to Toronto from Ottawa, because my travel agent doesn't own a globe! And the plane was like... this big (does the two finger pinch). Now about half way across the pilot comes onto the PA and says we have to turn around because we lost oil pressure in the port engine, which was kinda stupid cuz he could have just turned around and said we gotta turn around, would've heard him still. So we're on this like 9 minute flight, and we can't even pull that off, and the guy I'm sitting next to is freaking out,
'Oh my god! What if one engine fails how far will the one engine get us?'
I reply 'I'd say about to the scene of the crash.'
'Which is convenient because that's exactly where we're headed!'
'Hell I bet we even beat the paramedics by a good half hour!'"

knowing ozzy he'd be up in the cockpit trying to convince the pilots to let him do a few barrel rolls as a final thrill seeing as its going down anyway:)