1. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it
2. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar
3. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed
4. Fly into a rage whenever the word "Gallstone" is mentioned
5. "Accidental" soda spill on the dork next to you.
6. Go up to someone and ask loudly if they wouldn't mind applying Preporation H to your hemrrhoids
7. Tap at the windows, saying "Looks pretty tough" then ask somone if they have a bat you could use to test.
8. Disco dance in the aisle
9. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends
10. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
11. Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you
12. Try to lead plane in song "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner"
13. Attempt to promote Hinduism among passengers
14. Moon passing Delta planes
15. Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane
16. Start a hot dog stand
17. Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it
18. Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes
19. During the inflight movie, ask to share headphones with someone
20. When two people kiss in the film, belch real loud
21. When there's any nudity, say "Hey! He/she must be real cold!"
22. Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that afternoon
23. With the person next to you, discuss cannabilism among airline crash passengers on deserted islands
24. Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put superglue in your undies that morning
25. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you
26. No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni
27. Show off your Batman underwear
28. Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only)
29. Switch accents and see if anyone notices
30. During the meal, loudly explain that on time you ate shark fin soup
and proceeded to puke all over the airplane, spewing chunks of shark on the other passengers
31. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks didn't come out, 'cause they aren't really reliable, and that if the plane was to crash, everyone would die
32. Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone on the head
33. Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger
34. Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world
35. Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face
36. Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it
37. Listen to James Brown on your Walkman, sing along (especially the
"Oooh Oooh" parts)
38. Snort when you laugh
39. Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same 46. Wear a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices
40. Sing that irritaing song that starts like this "I lost my car on the rooooooaaddd an' I'm cryin' over yooooouuuu...."
41. Recite all you can of the last Ann Landers column
42. Hum the Monty Python theme song
43. Act like a movie star
44. Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason
45. Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!"
46. With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Nevermind. Do you have any towels?"
47. Whip out your kazoo and give first class a special entertainment show
48. Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"
49. Bring a microphone and act like Frank Sinatra
50. Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)
51. If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off
52. Pretend you're flying the plane
53. With a fellow passenger, Re-enact the disco scene in "Airplane!"
54. Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong
to a biker gang
55. Scream at the top of your lungs incoherant slogans at random intervals

I have a few.
You need your wife/girlfriend for this one. Get up at the same time and walk into the same washroom stall. Wait ten minutes and mess up your clothes. Come out saying "I never thought you could flex like that."

With the recent SARS outbreak. Simply fake a loud dry cough and watch how people react.

Pretend you're the recuiter for the Communist Party.

This one is if you're in first class. If the guy next to you falls asleep. Grab his wallet and use his credit card to operated the pay phone in the back of the seat. Make calls to relatives in distant countries.

This actually happend on a flight I was on. Once again with your wife/girlfriend, once the aircraft has taxied some distance from the gate, claim that she left her purse at the airport. Demand that the plane taxi back to retrive it.

When your ears pop, scream that you just heard your brain expload.

great stuff  8)

Tthe first time my gran went on an aircraft (she was in her 70s), she asked us how she could get the window open to take photographs (they were going on a 757!), and I had these horrible visions of her with a can opener

Ozzy

But I'm sure Airbus will be pleased to issue a large maintenance and repairs bill!

Ozzy

carry a bunch of screws (and if possibe a screw driver) on and say, "now things should be a little more interesting," watch what everyone dose. then for no reason laph.

cause your chair (or anything) to make a large poping noise. then exclame, "i hope we didnt need that"

Quote:


Are you a pilot at SAA?  Or are you going to go on SAA sometime, do you live in South Africa Maccers?

Greg