Simviation Forum - Instructions on Packages

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Instructions on Packages (Read 483 times)

Apr 1^st, 2003 at 9:42pm

Deputy Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender:
Posts: 2090

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESSERT
Do not turn upside down.
(Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
Do not Iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
ON NYTOL (A SLEEPING AID)
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
Warning: keep out of children.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON THE INSTRUCTIONAL MANUAL FOR A CANON CAMERA (circa 1966)
"Do not rattle playfully at the shutter button."

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
Not to be used for the other use.

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
Warning: contains nuts.

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:
"Do not use on food."
(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's okay, honey -- just grab the Palmolive!)

On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:
"Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine."
(Hey, no more swimming in the washing machine, kids.)

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how...?)

ON A FROZEN DINNER AT HOME
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion.)

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX
Fits one head.

ON A PACKET OF SUN-MAID RAISINS
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?

ON A HAIRDRYER
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

ON A BAG OF FRITOS
You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Evidently, the shoplifter special.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

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Reply #1 - Apr 2^nd, 2003 at 2:03am

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

Gender:
Posts: 19820

that's a real old one Wink

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

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Reply #2 - Apr 3^rd, 2003 at 6:44pm

Polynomial Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 1951

it is rather old but there are a few new addies in there. Cheesy

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Reply #3 - Apr 8^th, 2003 at 1:14am

lil_shitah Offline
Colonel
uh whats a plane?
Canberra, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 24

yeah but it's still hella funny Grin

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Reply #4 - Apr 8^th, 2003 at 5:39pm

Squeek Offline
Colonel
Legacy the poor mans Learjet
United States of America

Gender:
Posts: 820

FUNNY LMAO!!

A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....&&&&Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.

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