A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On
their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm
still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married
ten times?"
Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative - all he did was keep
telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was
supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order,
he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted
three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art
method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how,
but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was
never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was...God! I miss
him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"