Simviation Forum - Things you DON'T want to hear during surgery

Mar 19^th, 2003 at 3:35pm

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survive 500ml of this stuff before?
There go the lights again...
You know, there's big money in kidneys.. and this guy's got two of 'em.
Eveybody stand back! I've lost a contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating, it's throwing my concentration off.
What's this doing here?
I hate it when there's stuff missing in here.
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for the sex change?
OK, now take a picture from this angle, this is truely a freak of nature.
This patient has already had kids, am I right?
Nurse, did this patient sign an organ doners card?
Don't worry, I think it's sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"?
Fire! Fire! Everyone out!
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #1 - Mar 19^th, 2003 at 4:18pm

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

Gender:
Posts: 19820

phew, good thing I was put down during the three surgeries i've had Wink

« Last Edit: Mar 19^th, 2003 at 6:34pm by BFMF »

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #2 - Mar 19^th, 2003 at 5:17pm

Woodlouse2002 Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England

Gender:
Posts: 12574

WOW!!! Andrew has been put down 3 times... They didn't do a very good job... When my cat was put down it never woke up! Grin

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #3 - Mar 19^th, 2003 at 6:36pm

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

Gender:
Posts: 19820

ok, modified my post Wink

I just remembered that I woke up in the middle of the last surgery. I saw them pulling, cutting, & tugging, but I just simply went back to sleep Grin

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #4 - Mar 19^th, 2003 at 8:17pm

Squeek Offline
Colonel
Legacy the poor mans Learjet
United States of America

Gender:
Posts: 820

good one. i am glad i have never gone in

A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....&&&&Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #5 - Mar 20^th, 2003 at 10:36pm

Deputy Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender:
Posts: 2090

More things -

"Awww shit"
"Oh no!"
"Duct tape"
"Ewwww, look at that."
"Howdy partner, this is my first time doing this."
"I hear voices."
"I see things."
"Sorry."
"Hehehehe"
"How do you put this back together?"
"I think I broke him"
"He ain't walking again now. "
"Paddles!!!"
"Wow, I knew I should have paid attention in medical school."
"Ahhh, screw it"
"Tell the family"
"Call the morgue"
"Let's try to make this the first succesfull surgery"
"Nah, don't bother. It'll be fine"
"Don't tell me I operated on the wrong person"
"I thought you said castrated"

And my all out favorite,
"Paddles!!!"

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #6 - Mar 21^st, 2003 at 11:57pm

BMan1113VR Offline
Colonel
Los Angeles, California

Gender:
Posts: 9196

Quote:

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Eveybody stand back! I've lost a contact lens!
What's this doing here?
I hate it when there's stuff missing in here.

lol, when i saw the title for this topic i was already thinking thoose

Sincerely,&&Me&&&&SimV NFL 2006-2007 Season Pool Co-Champion (157-99; 9-2)&&SimV NFL 2005-2006 Season Pool Co-Champion (163-93)&&SimV NFL 2004-2005 Season Pool Champion (166-90) &&

&&Click for Assistance

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #7 - Mar 22^nd, 2003 at 12:18am

Smoke2much Offline
Colonel
The Unrepentant Heretic
Sittingbourne, Kent,

Posts: 3879

I've worked in operating theatres.

You guys are closer to the truth than you think...............

he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he

will Grin

Who switched the lights off? I can't see a thing....... Hold on, my eyes were closed. Oops, my bad...............&&

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #8 - Mar 22^nd, 2003 at 1:57am

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

My mum is a nurse Will, where do you think I got these from?

Mark Grin

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #9 - Mar 23^rd, 2003 at 3:09am

Smoke2much Offline
Colonel
The Unrepentant Heretic
Sittingbourne, Kent,

Posts: 3879

I thought they had a ring of truth......

An eminent consultant surgeon once threw a a pair of forceps at me. He was performing a laporoscopic choleocystectomy (Key hole removal of the gall bladder). The incision was about 2" long and the gall bladder was full, and I mean FULL of Gall stones. he had been tugging away at this thing for about five minutes until finally it came out with a load "Plop" sound. I turned to my colleague and said really quietly "Congratulations mrs x, it's a healthy bouncing gall bladder." Only problem was that he heard me and went absolutely loopy, he threw the forceps which hit me in the chest. The theatre charge nurse started shouting at him and me at the same time. I had to write a letter of apology to him and I got a very polite letter back apologising for the forceps which he "tossed rather forcibly onto the tray and unfortunately rebounded, stricking you(me) in the chest". Not been back inside an operating thetre since.

Was very funny at the time.

Will Grin

Who switched the lights off? I can't see a thing....... Hold on, my eyes were closed. Oops, my bad...............&&

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #10 - Mar 23^rd, 2003 at 6:07am

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

Mum had a couple of good ones whilst working in paediatrics that always made me smile, the first was when a junior doctor wrote up some notes on a proctological examination of a 2 year old boy using an endoscope (think it was this anyhow), and used the annotation for feet rather than inches, and put down that he had investigated up to 2 feet, and my mother asked if the child needed his tonsils removed? Fortunately the doctor laughed at himself.
The other was a small boy with about 3 with elephantitus of the middle finger, so it was about the size of a normal adult finger, that caused a lot of laughs.

Oh and one of my friends was once constipated and went to see the MO to get something for it, and was given some sepositories (them bottom torpedos), and told that this would cure him.
A couple of days later I asked how things were, and had the problem been resolved, and he said "The MOs a ***** I could have shoved them things up my arse for all the good they've done!"

Ozzy Grin

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

Back to top

IP Logged

	Search the archive: