If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough
to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman
cape.

It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by
20-foot room.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does
not leak--it explodes.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4
inches deep.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

Super glue is forever.

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk
on water.

Pool filters do not like Jello.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.