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› Top 40 things to while in an elevator
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Top 40 things to while in an elevator (Read 803 times)
Mar 10
th
, 2003 at 8:21pm
Deputy
Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon
Gender:
Posts: 2090
40. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
39. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
38. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
37. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
36. Bring a chair along.
35. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
34. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
33. Do Tai Chi exercises.
32. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
31. Meow occasionally.
30. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
29. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
28. Play the harmonica.
27. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
26. Lean against the button panel.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
24. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
23. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other people "through" it.
22. Start a sing-along.
21. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
19. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
18. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
17. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
16. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. One word: Flatulence!
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
10. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, blasted, all of you just shut UP!""
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
6. Wear "x-ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
5. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
4. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
3. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
2. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
1. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&
Iustita Omnibus
&&
Justice for All
&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&&
&&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&
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Reply #1 -
Mar 11
th
, 2003 at 6:13am
ozzy72
Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville
Gender:
Posts: 37122
Funny Brad, I've got to try a few of those...
If you ever get to the former communist European block, then try jumping up and down when you get in the lift. The cables are elastic. That always scares tourists who don't know. It's amazing how many people remember they have legs and take the stairs
Ozzy
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #2 -
Mar 11
th
, 2003 at 10:49am
Deputy
Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon
Gender:
Posts: 2090
Quote:
Funny Brad, I've got to try a few of those...
If you ever get to the former communist European block, then try jumping up and down when you get in the lift. The cables are elastic. That always scares tourists who don't know. It's amazing how many people remember they have legs and take the stairs
Ozzy
I rarely even use an elevator Mark. I think excercise is very important. I have been lucky, that I have always used stairs, well, unless its like a 100-story building - I ain't quite in that good of shape. . .
I am lucky in that I was always taught to keep myself physically fit.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&
Iustita Omnibus
&&
Justice for All
&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&&
&&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&
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Reply #3 -
Mar 13
th
, 2003 at 12:45pm
EirePlane
Offline
Colonel
London, UK
Gender:
Posts: 930
Quote:
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
That's what most people say when I walk into class
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Reply #4 -
Mar 13
th
, 2003 at 11:59pm
BMan1113VR
Offline
Colonel
Los Angeles, California
Gender:
Posts: 9196
lol
Sincerely,&&Me&&
&&SimV NFL 2006-2007 Season Pool Co-Champion (157-99; 9-2)&&SimV NFL 2005-2006 Season Pool Co-Champion (163-93)&&SimV NFL 2004-2005 Season Pool Champion (166-90) &&
&&
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