It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news.
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community.

The Pillsbury doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Mr. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Mr. Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Mr.Doughboy rose quickly in
show business, but his later life was filled with  turnovers.   He was
not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes.  Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was
a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough,
Jane Dough, plus one in the oven.   He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.