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Aviation Humor (Read 2432 times)
Feb 18th, 2003 at 10:50am
Oso   Guest

 
Her is my attempt at gaining that prestigious award  Kiss



Un hombre viaja a bordo de un 747 y tiene la urgente necesidad de ir
al bañño. Despuéés de varias tentativas sigue ocupado y la azafata, al
corriente de su problema, le sugiere que pase al de seññoras. Sin embargo, le
recomienda no tocar los botones identificativos por "A.C.","A.S.",
"P.P.", y "E.T.A.".

Mientras estáá sentado satisfaciendo sus necesidades, su curiosidad
aumenta y con cierto miedo presiona sobre el pulsador identificado por
"A.C."
Inmediatamente un chorro de Agua caliente le acaricia ligeramente.
¡¡Dios míío! -piensa- ¡¡como son tratadas las mujeres!
Despuéés presiona sobre el pulsador identificado como "A.S." y una
brisa de Aire Seco le seca el culo.
¡¡Magníífico! Envalentonado por el ééxito de las dos operaciones
anteriores presiona sobre el siguiente identificado como P.P. Unos Polvos
Perfumados se extienden por todo su trasero.

¡¡Wow! -dice- ¡¡esto si que es viajar! Decide entonces probar con el
identificado con "E.T.A."...

Cuando se despertóó, se encontraba en el hospital. Confuso llamo a la
enfermera:
¿¿Quéé ha pasado, se ha estrellado el avióón? Lo úúltimo de que me
acuerdo es que estaba en el bañño de seññoras.
Usted estaba efectivamente en el bañño de seññoras, respondióó la
enfermera, pero no ha respetado el consejo de no tocar los pulsadores y en
especial el de Extraccióón de Tampax Automáático... por cierto, su pene estáá
bajo
la almohada...
 
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Reply #1 - Feb 18th, 2003 at 11:51am

ozzy72   Offline
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Think you might need to translate that for us Bear, my Spanish just isn't up to it.

Ozzy
 
...
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #2 - Feb 18th, 2003 at 1:39pm

Woodlouse2002   Offline
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Give him the award... That was annoying... wot with the first sentance in perfect english...Roll Eyes
 
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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Reply #3 - Feb 18th, 2003 at 2:35pm
Oso   Guest

 
Actually I have no idea what it says, no habla Espanol. Grin

Seems that it is about a guy that finds an automatic Tampon extractor in the bathroom of a 747 and winds up in the hospital, best as I can tell.
 
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Reply #4 - Feb 18th, 2003 at 2:39pm

ozzy72   Offline
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So why is your sign-in Oso meaning bear? And how can you tell what it says if you don't speak Spanish?
 
...
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #5 - Feb 18th, 2003 at 2:51pm
Oso   Guest

 
I live in San Antonio - that is what the ladies at the office call me - as in cuddly.

Here - maybe this one will make up for the annoyance -


An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sunrise.  He saw the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.  He yelled out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" The boy yelled back, "Roll of chicken wire." The old man said, "What you gonna do with that?" The boy said, "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old man yelled, "You damn fool...  you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The young boy just laughed and kept walking.   That evening at sunset the boy came walking by and to the  old man's surprise he was dragging behind him the chicken wire  with about 30 chickens caught in it.   The same time the next morning, the old man was out watching  the sunrise again, and saw the boy walk by, carrying something kind  of round in his hands.   The old man yelled out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  The boy yelled back, "A roll of duck tape."  The old man replied, "What you gonna do with that?"  The boy said, "Gonna catch me some ducks, mister."  The old man hollered back, "You damn fool...  you can't catch  ducks with duck tape!"  The boy just laughed and kept walking past.   That night around sunset, the boy walked on his way home,  and to the old man's amazement the boy trailed behind him the  unrolled tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.   Same time next morning the old man saw the boy walking by  carrying a bunch of long reeds with something fuzzy on the ends.  > The old man said, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  The boy said, "Pussy Willows."  "Wait up....  I'll get my hat..."
 
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Reply #6 - Feb 18th, 2003 at 9:12pm

BMan1113VR   Offline
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that joke is not that bad, definatly not PITA award quality Wink
 
Sincerely,&&Me&&...&&SimV NFL 2006-2007 Season Pool Co-Champion (157-99; 9-2)&&SimV NFL 2005-2006 Season Pool Co-Champion (163-93)&&SimV NFL 2004-2005 Season Pool Champion (166-90) &&
&&Click for Assistance
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Reply #7 - Feb 19th, 2003 at 3:38am

ozzy72   Offline
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That one is rather good. I'm getting the Spanish stuff translated at the moment.

Ozzy
 
...
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #8 - Feb 19th, 2003 at 4:01pm

katana_1000   Offline
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a_blesk
patomac,MD

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this is what i got:
A man travels on board from a 747 and has the urgent need to go to the bañño.  Despuéés of several tentative continues occupied and the hostess, current of his problem, suggests that even to that of seññoras.  Nevertheless, it recommends it not to touch the bellboy identificativos by "A.C.","A.S.", "P.P.",
and "E.T.A."  While estáá seated satisfying its needs, its curiosity enlarges and with certain fear pressures on the identifying push-button by "TO C."  Immediately a hot spurt of Water caresses it slightly.  ¡God míío!  -Thinks- ¡¡as are treaties the women!  Despuéés pressures on the identifying push-button
as "TO S." and a Dry breeze of Air it drought the bum.  ¡Magníífico!  It encouraged by the ééxito of the two previous operations pressures on the following identifying one as P P.  Some Scented Dust extend for all their rear one.  ¡Wow!  -It says- ¡¡this if that is to travel!  It decides then to test with
the identifying one with "E.T.A."..  When himself despertóó, was found in the hospital.  Confused I call the nurse: ¿¿Quéé has passed, has crashed the avióón?  It úúltimo that me agreement is that was in the bañño of seññoras.  You were really in the bañño of seññoras, respondióó the nurse, but has not
respected the counsel of not touching the push-buttons and especially that of Extraccióón of Tampax Automáático... certainly, its penis estáá under the pillow..
 
......&&and yet i cant say it in the chat room:P&&&&http://airliners.net/random.inc&&&&;
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Reply #9 - Feb 19th, 2003 at 6:51pm
Oso   Guest

 
That made it even more annoying - may I have my PITA award now please?  8)
 
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Reply #10 - Feb 20th, 2003 at 4:52am

EirePlane   Offline
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London, UK

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There were a few spelling errors!
it says:
To board man travels on from to 747 and there plows the urgent need to
go to the bath. Of to later several tentative continues occupied and
the hostess, current of his problem, suggests that even to that of
ladies. Nevertheless, it recommends it not to touch the bellboy
identificativos by "A.C.", "a.s.", "P.P.", and "E.T.A." While is
seated satisfying its needs, its curiosity enlarges and with certain
to to fear pressures on the identifying push-button by "TO C."
Immediately to hot spurt of Water caresses it slightly. God mines! -
Thinks- ace plows treaties the women! Later pressures on the
identifying push-button ace "TO S." and to Dry breeze of Air it
drought the bum. Magnificent! It encouraged by the success of the two
previous operations pressures on the following identifying one ace P
P. Some for Scented Dust extend all to to their to to rear one. Wow! -
It says- this if that is to travel! It you decides then to test with
the identifying one with "E.T.A.".. When himself woke up, was found in
the hospital. Confused I call the nurse: What there plows passed,
there plows crashed the airplane? Last It that me agreement is that
was in the bath of ladies. You were really in the bath of ladies, you
respond the nurse, but there plows not respected the counsel of not
touching the push-buttons and especially that of Extración of
Automatic Tampax... certainly, its penis is to under the pillow..



Ouch!
 
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Reply #11 - Feb 20th, 2003 at 8:10pm

russ   Offline
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New York, NY

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i think i saw this joke on this forum like 3 months ago
 
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Reply #12 - Feb 21st, 2003 at 2:43pm

Woodlouse2002   Offline
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I like jam.
Cornwall, England

Gender: male
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can we get someone who speaks spanish to translate this please? online translators make no sence.
 
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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Reply #13 - Feb 21st, 2003 at 3:21pm
Oso   Guest

 
Seeing all the trouble people are going through to find out what the joke is just goes to show you what a Pain In The Ass it is.  Grin
 
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Reply #14 - Feb 22nd, 2003 at 3:17am

ozzy72   Offline
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Here is the correct translation (by a Spanish teaching friend of mine who lived in Madrid);
A man is travelling on board of a 747 and has to go to the bathroom.It is occupied for a long time and the air-hostess tells him to use the ladies', but she warns him not to use the buttons WW, WA ,PD and ETA.

While sitting there doing whatever he has to, he gets curious and with a certain bad feeling presses WW  .Suddenly he feels a nice warm spray of water.Oh God, he is thinking, how nicely women are treated here!
Then he presses the button WA and feels some warm air drying his ass.

Oh, how nice this feels, he reckons, and as he is extremely satisfied with the two operations behind,he presses  PD.Immediately, some perfumed dust covers all his behind sweetly.
ĄĄWow! -he says- this is travelling!And he presses the button ETA.
When he awoke he found himself in a hospital. Confused, he calls the nurse: 
"What happened?Did the plane crash?The last I remember is sitting in the ladies'."
"Yes," she answers , "you were actually there, but you didnt respect the advice and pressed the button Extract Tampax Automatically.... of course your penis is under the pillow...."
 
...
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #15 - Feb 22nd, 2003 at 11:24am

Woodlouse2002   Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England

Gender: male
 Posts: 12574
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That is actually a very good joke when translated by a human! Grin
 
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!
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