A Polish man moved to the USA, married an American girl and, although his English was far from perfect, they seemed to get along very well.  However, one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked if a divorce could be arranged for him. The lawyer informed that getting a divorce would depend upon the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

“Have you any grounds?”
“Yes, an acre and half… and nice little home.”

“No, I mean, what is the foundation of this case?”
“It made of concrete.”

“I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?”
“No, we have carport, and not need one.”

“I mean, what are your relations like?”
“All my relations still in Poland.”

“Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
“We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.”

“Does your wife beat you up?”
“No, I always up before her.”

“Why do you want this divorce?”
“She going to kill me.”

“What makes you think that?”
“I got proof.”

“What kind of proof?”
“She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say: