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Marital Bliss... (Read 481 times)
Nov 16
th
, 2012 at 2:35am
H
Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA
Gender:
Posts: 6837
involves give and take from both sides. We've seen these before but, to remind us, these are a few of the events of warning:
One year I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... the next year I didn't buy her a gift.
When my wife asked me why, I replied, "Well, she still hasn't used the gift I bought her last year!"
And that's how the fight started...
_______________________________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's how the fight started...
_______________________________________________________
My wife was looking in the bedroom mirror, not happy with what she saw.
"I feel horrible," she informed me, "I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Well, Your eyesight is darn near perfect."
And that's how the fight started...
_______________________________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man, sitting alone at a nearby table, swigging his drink.
"Do you know him?" I asked.
"Yes," she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago; I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's how the fight started...
_______________________________________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt," to which, quizzically, I opened my shirt to reveal my curly silver hair.
She replied, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my application.
When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She responded, "You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability too."
And then the fight started...
_______________________________________________________
Our lawn mower broke and my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow, I always had something else to take care of first; the shed, the boat... something always seemed more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
One day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house for, perhaps, a minute. When I came out again, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again but I will always have a limp.
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Reply #1 -
Nov 16
th
, 2012 at 5:50am
Fozzer
Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.
Posts: 24861
Oxymoron:
Marital + Bliss.
Paul...
...!
Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.
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Reply #2 -
Nov 16
th
, 2012 at 8:12am
wahubna
Offline
Colonel
WMU Bronco
Michigan
Gender:
Posts: 1064
Considering my wife has to put up with me, I forgive her
"At that time [1909] the chief engineer was almost always the chief test pilot as well. That had the fortunate result of eliminating poor engineering early in aviation."- Igor Sikorsky
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Reply #3 -
Nov 17
th
, 2012 at 2:12pm
Hagar.
Offline
Lieutenant Colonel
I Love Simviation.
Posts: 6
Fozzer wrote
on Nov 16
th
, 2012 at 5:50am:
Oxymoron:
Marital + Bliss.
Paul...
...!
There speaks the voice of experience.
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Reply #4 -
Nov 18
th
, 2012 at 7:48pm
Jared
Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio
Gender:
Posts: 12621
lol, so true!
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