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› Only in Britain -Complaints to Councils
(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)
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Only in Britain -Complaints to Councils (Read 579 times)
Sep 13
th
, 2012 at 5:14pm
ozzy72
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Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville
Gender:
Posts: 37122
Extracts from letters written by council tenants:
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3.. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6.. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen...
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #1 -
Sep 13
th
, 2012 at 6:02pm
Fozzer
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Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.
Posts: 24861
Its wonderful, being a Council Tenant...
We meet the most interesting Folks..!...
...!
Paul...
...
...
...!
Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.
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Reply #2 -
Sep 13
th
, 2012 at 7:52pm
Romulus111VADT
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Colonel
Gender:
Posts: 5521
LMAO....those are excellent....
"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."
Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”
Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #3 -
Sep 15
th
, 2012 at 4:49pm
Bud Greene
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Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...
Gender:
Posts: 480
........must........breathe......can't......catch........breath........too....fu
nny!
I feel sorry for the individual with the bush and fungal problems though.
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Reply #4 -
Sep 15
th
, 2012 at 5:04pm
Steve M
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Colonel
Cambridge On.
Gender:
Posts: 4097
22 facepalms later, my face hurts now..
Flying with twins is a lot of fun..
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Reply #5 -
Sep 16
th
, 2012 at 7:04am
Bass
Offline
Colonel
Love flying.
Scandinavia
Gender:
Posts: 996
"Just try to be YOU".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw23LQkvg_k
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Reply #6 -
Sep 17
th
, 2012 at 5:43pm
Mike..
Offline
Colonel
Beer is the answer, I
can't remember the question.
Fayetteville NC
Gender:
Posts: 1688
Number 16 had me rolling for a few minutes
Mike
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